Scarred Heart and Wicked Minds
by AmandaCullen84
Summary: Edward hates the quirks left behind from his sordid childhood. What will happen when he meets Bella? All human, normal pairings.
1. Fuck This

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**A/n I do NOT own Twilight**

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Fuck this, I hated it here.

Pulling my jacket up around my face to protect me from the cold air, I left the cafeteria building and headed straight for my Volvo, Rose, Em, Jazz, and Alice would have to find another way home. I was not enduring the mindlessness of the thoughts in that place.

Stupid fucking teenagers.

Dating Jessica Stanley had been the biggest fucking mistake of this year, I was pretty sure I would never recover from it. She was so shallow and self serving, I rolled my eyes at the mere thought of her. I couldn't stand sitting at my lunch table while she raped me in her mind, laying every detail of my fucked up childhood out for her entire social club to see.

I didn't even acknowledge my family's stares as I felt them boring holes in my back when I stood up and walked out. If I had, I wouldn't have had the balls to leave and I was so not staying here. If Alice knew what was good for her, she would leave me be and just call Carlisle for a ride.

I had always felt like an outsider in my family, none of us were really related. The only biological child was Emmett, the rest of us had been adopted. All of us, but me, had been adopted as a baby or very small child. I had been adopted into the Cullens at the age of 13, Carlisle had struck a deal with my parents, at least I knew how much I was worth.

It was then he brought me to Forks, it couldn't have been any more different from Chicago. At least in Chicago I was able to blend into the background, never to be really noticed, and I could avoid all the fucking pity stares I hated.

At first, no one knew I had had a crappy childhood, but, my little quirks started to show through. How I hated to be touched by anyone outside of my family, it just made me uncomfortable, I didn't freak out or anything. I just didn't fucking like it so I went extra lengths to avoid it. I would sit in the desk that was isolated. Walk as close to the lockers as I could.

I couldn't handle any small spaces. At first, I even had problems being in a car, I would have panic attacks and feel like I couldn't breathe. Just a happy gift from my fucked up childhood. Carlisle had encouraged me, let me pick my own car, started me in Rose's convertible so I wouldn't feel closed in.

Rose hadn't been happy about that, she'd threatened to kill my first born if I wrecked the damn thing. Carlisle was patient with me, taking it slow, allowing me to learn to deal with it. Carlisle was a fucking fantastic father and I could never thank him enough for saving me.

I turned on the Volvo, I fucking loved this car, enjoying the feel of the leather seats. Hearing Alice's thoughts nearing me, I sped off. I would have to apologize later but I just couldn't handle the intrusions right now.

The thoughts of what Jessica Stanley been sharing at lunch left a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Oh and you should _see _his scars, the most fucked up childhood ever," she laughed at my pain, "you should see how he reacts to being shut in a closet!"

The kids around her laughed, except Angela Webber, I had always liked her she had a very kind heart. That was win I heard her thoughts, though I was trying to block them the fuck out.

"_Ha! I wonder if I could trick Cullen into getting in the Janitors closet, offer an afternoon make up romp or something. Then they could see what a freak he really is!"_

For the first time in my life, I wanted to just beat the hell out of a girl.

Jessica was very aware of how I would react in a closet, locked away in the dark. She'd seen it.

I'd gone to her house for the evening, she had said her parents weren't home, I was only a teenager after all. We had gone on to some heavy petting, both of us obviously enjoying it, when there was a knock at the door. She freaked out and shoved me in her closet.

Even trying to remember Carlisle's words couldn't stave off my panic attack, I was transported back to the small wooden box in my room, the one they padlocked me in at night. The darkness felt like it was caressing me, mocking me, even after she heard my screams she didn't open the door, though she had long since turned the stupid girl selling cookies away.

I could hear Jessica laughing just one the other side of the door as I tore at my own hair.

When I was able to pull myself out of the dark memory, I rolled down the windows, despite the cold, and let the cold freeze out the burning hate in my chest. Certainly there was a special seat in hell reserved for the Stanley girl and if their was any justice mine would be close enough to watch her.

All week the buzz had been about me or the fact that chief Swan's daughter, Isabella, was moving to Forks. The rumor was her mother had died of some long illness, no one was sure which one. Her father was happy to have her home but wished it was under better circumstances.

All I could hope for as I pulled into out tree lined driveway was that her arrival would overshadow Jessica and her fucking mouth.


	2. The Repetition Kills You

**Hi guys. Here is an update. I have three stories going right now so updates will take a little longer. I will try to update at least one story a night.**

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**A/n I do NOT own Twilight!**

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"You know, Edward," Rose oozed hatred as she spoke, "when you drive everyone to school, it might be nice if you, oh I don't know, stick around to take us home."

I allowed it, because she was right. Carlisle looked at me in a way that meant, _my study, now, please, _and I followed him. Passing her, I could see the concern in Alice's eyes, _what happened, _she thought.

I sighed as I shut the door to Carlisle's study.

"Edward, you know how I feel about you skipping class," his arms were crossed and the disappointment was evident.

"I'm sorry," I began, "It's just, Jessica Stanley, I couldn't take it. She is spreading my childhood out like she's giving away cupcakes while campaigning for class president. It's unbearable Carlisle."

I slumped in my seat, closed my eyes, and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"You should have told Jasper,Alice, or Emmett," Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder and crouched so our eyes met, "they care for you Edward, you are part of this family, they would have tried to help you."

"I know," I let out a large breath, "it's just so hard to have yourself laid bare like that."

Carlisle patted my back and allowed me to leave, I didn't want to face Rose, so I snuck out the back and found a large, mossy fallen tree to sit on and pout.

"Edward," Alice voice came from just behind me, "What on earth happened to you today?"

"Jessica, she was telling people about what happened when she shoved me in her closet and," I paused, "about my fucking scars. Like it was some kind of fucking great joke."

Alice sat beside me, wrapping her arm around my waist.

"Why didn't you tell us, we would have all left with you. We would never have tried to make you suffer through that," she rubbed her forehead in frustration, "Stupid heartless girl. Edward when are you going to understand that we love you?"

"I know you do Al, that wasn't the problem. Those things she was telling people, who were laughing, they are my nightmares and my reality. They don't understand what it was like and I never wanted them to know. Ugh, what in the fuck was I thinking dating that girl?"

"It'll pass," Alice closed her eyes, most likely using her own little gift, "By tomorrow when Bella shows up, that will be what everyone is talking about."

She smiled, but I knew how her visions worked, just because that was the case right now, didn't mean it would be tomorrow.

We sat together until sunset, Jasper joining us shortly before, silently supporting each other. At twilight, we went inside. Jasper and Alice grabbed dinner and I headed to my room to find solace in Debussy.

Through the years of abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents, music was the one thing I could always count on. When I was young I had stolen a small cd player that I hid in the box they locked me in, it was often my only comfort through the long nights. So now, I collected every thing I could music related, Carlisle encouraged it.

I didn't sleep well that night, making me cranky the next morning.

"Morning Edward," Alice chirped as she danced into the kitchen.

"eh what the fuck ever," I grumbled.

"Hey, watch it," Jasper teased.

Flipping him off, I grabbed a pop tart and ate it cold. I was just not in the mood today.

"Can you guys ride with Rose, I just want to go get this day over with," I silently pleaded with my eyes.

"Yea, sure," Alice's brow furrowed.

I chugged some milk, straight from the carton, then went directly to the Volvo.

When I arrived in the school parking lot, there was only one other vehicle there, a beat up old Chevy truck. Who in the hell did it belong too? I stared at it, trying to get a look at the person in the cab.

As soon as the parking lot was about half full, the mystery person in the truck emerged and it all suddenly made sense; it was chief Swan's daughter, Isabella.

Her brown hair swung around her as she ungracefully exited the cab, I desperately wanted to see her face, for reasons I couldn't fathom. She adjusted something in her ears, which I assumed were earbuds for an ipod, then turned to face me flinging her backpack onto her shoulder.

Isabella, Bella her thoughts were echoing, was pale, but it didn't detract from her beauty, her lips were just the right shade of pink, I felt a strange pull towards her. I couldn't see the color of her eyes from my current distance, but I felt certain, if I scanned the minds near her, I could skim it from someone. Ah, brown, her eyes were a rich chocolate brown, though I could have done with out the extra thoughts from Eric Yorkie, I cringed slightly.

I turned my attention back to Bella, trying to read from her thoughts what had happened to her mother, only to find her thoughts were like a radio station with poor receptions; I couldn't hear everything over the static and could only get bits of what it was she was thinking. Frustrated, I saw the rest of my family pull in and park next to me.

"Hey bro,"Emmet said, slapping me hard enough on my shoulder to knock me off balance.

"Emmet, what the fuck," I rubbed my shoulder and grinned.

"Oh, just seeing if you were paying attention, guess you weren't," he chuckled and slid his arm around Rose's waist causing her to blush instantly.

As was our usual morning routine, everyone formed around me as we walked up to the school. At first, this had been a protective formation for me, my new family had understood my desire to not be touched and accommodated it anyway they could.

They all knew what I had been through, knew that I wanted to hide my scars, so I almost always had on a jacket or something long sleeved. They understood why I reacted the way I did in Jessica's closet and, at least, Rose's thoughts were nearly murderous towards that"Stanley bitch". A small smile crept across my face.

Thinking of Jessica Stanley made me remember darker times, I tried to fight being pulled under by the awful memories, but, I lost.

_I was maybe 5 years old at the time, things had just turned bad in my childhood and I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. Mommy had always loved me before, I tried frantically to place what awful thing had done to her to make her love disappear. Every time the belt buckle licked my thighs or my back I would scream, until, I finally passed out from the effort. I woke up, for the first time, in the small box that would become my nocturnal torture until I was too big to fit in it._

Before I could shake myself from the fog of horrible fucking things past, a few tears had run down my cheeks. Rubbing at them furiously, I could hear the thoughts closest to me, _is Edward Cullen crying?!? _Just fucking perfect, I sighed and turned my eyes to the ground when I heard Alice gasp. Way to go Cullen, you just changed the path of your day.

I breezed through the first half of the day, if the breeze was actually a hurricane force wind that was full of glass shards.

In third period, Jessica had learned I had been seen wiping at tears and took it upon herself to concoct some bullshit story where in I begged her to take me back. Of course, she had told me to fuck off. Everyone stared at me, whispering, thinking derogatory things, wondering what my home life was like for me to be so fucked up. Not one person around me was even thinking about the Swan girl, at least she would be subjected to the scrutiny of these small minded bastards.

I met Emmett in the hall before lunch and, after being joined by Jasper and the girls, we made our way through the lunch line then made our way to our normal table.

"Edward, I'm sorry," Alice hissed into my ear.

"Sorry for what Alice," I flung a chicken strip back into it's container, frustrated, "Did you punch me and make me cry? It's not your job to control my emotions."

Everyone glared at me, "I wasn't insulting Jasper guys, back the fuck off. I'm pissed at myself. I gave them the fodder they wanted."

"Look," Jasper put his calming hand on my shoulder, "It will pass Edward. You just have to try to relax.

Nodding, I let out a sigh, I was so tired of being told to calm down or that it would fucking pass. It was during my little pity party that I saw her again, Bella was staring at me as that stupid bitch, Jessica, whispered to her.

Automatically, I honed in on Jessica's shallow mind.

"_She shouldn't waste her time, he is not even a good kisser. Pfft, probably wouldn't even date her, I fucked him up so bad," she chuckled internally, "Might as well let her now exactly how messed up he is."_

Great, now, before ever knowing me, Bella will have heard all the strange crap being spread about me. I felt so defeated, I was forever destined to be isolated from everyone except my family. I didn't bother trying to read her staticy thought, I honestly didn't care anymore.

The bell rand and I headed toward Biology.

My empty lab table was comforting, I often used bio as a time to tune out everything and just fucking be. I heard Newton and Yorkie making a ruckus as they walked in the door and looked, involuntarily, in their direction. Bella was with them, smiling shyly.

Quickly, my mind did the math, my table was the only one with an opening. My palms began to sweat and my heart raced, I was not ready to deal with this shit. My whole body tensed as her strawberry scented hair got blown my direction by the damn fan at the front of the room. It was never warm here, why the fuck did we need a fan?

As she placed her books timidly on the table beside me, I tried to devour whatever her mind could offer. She felt nervous, awkward around me, no doubt due to Jessica. Other than feelings, I couldn't get a whole lot. Bella peeked at me through her hair and all my defenses melted. I needed to touch her but fought the urge, rudely pushing the experiment supplies towards her just enough for her to reach.

I never said a word to her, she looked at me, cheeks on fire, accusing me. I sighed.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I said, her mask never cracking, "I'm sure Jessica has told you all about me."

"She tried,"she said calmly, "but I couldn't listen because you were dazzling me from across the room."


	3. Trapped in the Dark

**Ok guys chapter 3. I know this is a pretty dark story so far but well, that is just how it is going LOL**

**If I was to do the next chapter in another characters POV, who would you like it to be? Not Bella yet.**

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**A/n I do NOT own Twilight.**

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I just stared at her, my mouth wide fucking open, I _dazzled _her?

What in the fuck did that even mean, surely this was just some scheme she and Jessica had concocted. Lure me in with her gorgeous fucking brown eyes, her strawberry smell, red lips all smiles, then wait and push me in the janitors closet and lock the damn door.

Bella was staring at me, her eye far too intense, I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, this _had _to be a joke.

"Look," I spat, "I don't know what you are trying to pull but you can forget it."

I could hear her chuckling, fucking _chuckling, _as I grabbed my books and left the room. I wasn't sure what had amused her so much but I was sure I wanted no damn part of it.

As I walked to my last class of the day, the only class one of my siblings didn't walk with me to, I was vaguely aware of the growing knot of students around me, I didn't really think much of it until I heard Jessica Stanley's shrill voice.

"Hey Cullen," she yelled a few feet ahead of me.

My head snapped up, a reflex action to hearing my name and I realized, too late, that she was holding open the door to the damn janitor's closet. My heart began to pound so hard I was afraid it would burst through my chest, my palms were instantly covered in a layer of cold sweat as I frantically looked around the hall trying to find her accomplice.

When someone crashed into me from the right I was able to see who it was, Mike Newton.

That fucker had wanted Stanley this whole time, snatched her up the first chance he got and was now showing how manly he could be by trapping me in this fucking closet. I tried to fight him, struggle my way passed him, but he was too much of a fucking meat-head for that and I failed.

In a last ditch effort to save myself some how I scanned Stanley's thoughts, _"Ha! He won't be able to get out until someone gets the Janitor, they lock from the out side and only the key can open it. Should give this crowd plenty of fucking time to get the full on Cullen freak effect."_

I felt like I was going to fucking vomit as I saw a flash of Alice trying to fight her way through the crowd before the door shut. I heard her mental scream as she saw the look of horror on my face as the door slammed shut.

"_Noooooooo!!" _was the last thing I heard from Alice before I felt my screams bubble up like bile trying to escape.

The animalistic screams ripping through me were so utterly unfamiliar I was sure I had gone insane. I began to pound on the door, tears streaming down my face, pain searing down my left forearm.

"Let me Out!" I cried over and over,"Please, I'll be good, I didn't mean it. Just let me out of the dark!"

Somewhere in my terror fogged mind I could hear the laughs and shouts of the kids outside, enjoying my pain, I didn't care, I just wanted out. My chest began to feel tight and I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating. My family began to shout out side.

"What the fuck did you do Stanley," Rose growled.

"Rose, don't. It won't do him any good, we have to get him out,"Emmett's voice boomed through the darkness as my cries continued.

"No, Emmett, you send Jasper or any fucking body else, I'm taking care of this," Rose yelled.

"What in the hell is going on," a familiar voice I couldn't place spoke to Emmet.

"Go get the Janitor, we have to get him out," he replied.

"I'll be as quick as I can," the voice shouted as it got farther away.

I was in full-on freak-the-fuck-out mode. I was desperately trying to fight back the memories, knowing they would only serve to remind me of why I had good reason to be freaking out. I could smell him, the alcohol on Dad's breath, I knew he wasn't there but still, I could smell him.

"LET ME THE FUCK OUT!" I was beginning to feel so desperate I could taste it.

Banging harder, I weeped, knowing my sobs were being heard by the , now quiet, mob outside. Through their various thoughts I could tell they were starting to feel like this was a bad idea, no fucking duh, you think?

The memory took me, destroying whatever control I had left, as I sank to the ground, sobbing.

_I was seven now, they had to replace my box because I had outgrown it. So they had a very small cubby built in the corner of my room, telling the guy who built it that it was for my toys. Dad had been out drinking, pissed because he had found Mom with another man. He came home looking to take it out on someone, I never fought back so I was the lucky winner. He screamed at me, calling me a worthless fucker. I believed him. I was totally submissive to him as he struck me again and again, his belt buckle leaving large wounds on my stomach and arms. When he had had enough, he tossed me in the box and padlocked it, the only light I had coming from the hole for air, so I didn't die._

Hours had passed, or it felt like it to me, really it had been minutes, before the light shone through the open door. The reflection of myself through Emmet's open mind, shocked me, I was laying on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, crying and shaking. My left arm throbbed, like a fucking hammer had been taken to it.

Alice rushed to me, sitting me upright as I blinked myself back to the present.

"I'm so sorry, I saw it coming to late," she was crying too.

"Can we go see Carlisle," I said weakly, "my arm is killing me."

I help up my left arm, showing her the purple mark there where it looked as though I had hit the door knob be accident. I heard Rose hiss from behind Emmet.

"Emmett," Alice spoke quietly, "help him up?"

Without a seconds hesitation, Emmet lifted me and steadied me by his side. I was thankful he hadn't tried to carry me, I though I had been emasculated enough for one fucking day. Alice was moving towards a girl with brown hair, I couldn't see her face, I wondered if it was the girl who had helped.

"Bella, how can I ever thank you?" Alice threw her arms around Bella.

Bella's face grimaced slightly, "It's no problem, really, If Rosalie hadn't given Jessica a black eye I think I would have."

"Come to our house for dinner tonight, please?" Alice slipped Bella a small slip of paper.

"Sure," Bella replied.

Once we reached the hospital and Carlisle's office Emmett and Alice spilled everything that had happened. Carlisle was livid, well as livid as he gets. Feeling thoroughly fucking humiliated I let Carlisle examine my arm.

"Well," he said as I hissed at his prodding, "I think I need to x-ray it. Why don't you kids drive home and we will meet you there later. Emmett, pick up Edward's car."

I sighed, he better not fuck it up. That car was my baby.

"Edward," Carlisle began after they had left, "I'm pretty sure it's broken and you will need a cast. What do you want me to do about this girl?"

He was actually asking me what I wanted to do about it? Had hell just frozen over? I was completely amazed. Carlisle loved me and I loved him but he had never been one to take a low stance on this kind of thing. Usually, he went in, intellectual guns blaring, and promptly saw that the offender was punished. Now, he was asking what I thought he should do.

"Look, the whole school knows, everyone in charge who needs to know does, so lets just leave it at that," I hissed again as he positioned my arm under the x-ray machine, "I'm going to be laughed at enough."

"Ok," was all he said.

After I had been put in my cast, we headed home, I sulked the whole way. Just wanting to go to bed and never get up for school again. With malice, I glared at the offending white cast as we pulled into our tree-lined drive.

The red Chevy took me completely by surprise until I remembered Alice had invited her. I was so curious about her now, obviously she wasn't helping Jessica., so why was she so interested in me. Remembering the comment after biology made my hair stand on end.

Well, tonight I would try to find out was the hell was going on with Bella Swan.


	4. Song of Her Heart

**Longest chapter yet. Let me know what you think of Bella and if you wnat to know what all the Italin means Use Babelfish to translate it!**

**Darkward loves feed back like a pregnant girl loves ice cream!!**

**A/N I do NOT own Twilight!**

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"Oh! Eward, are you ok? They told me what happened," Esme hovered about me like a humming bird.

"I'll be ok," I sighed.

"Well dinner is ready, sit down and I will get your plate," she left the room.

I took in the scene before me, Rose and Em, Alice and Jasper, then just Bella. Sorely tempted to sit in the seat next to Bella like it was the only spot I belonged, I too the seat farthest from her. Everyone looked up at my arm as I sat.

"Fuck this awkwardness," Emmett spoke, "I'm getting the colored sharpie markers."

You could feel the tension lift as Emmett rose and everyone laughed.

"Fine," I said, looking at Bella through my lashes, "but Bella gets to sign it first."

There was a sudden hush, everyone knew I didn't like to be touched by anyone outside the family and they were all shocked, I could hear it in their thoughts. Sometimes, reading minds was more of a burden than a gift.

"Ok," Bella spoke up, "but I get to pick what I write on it, no peeking."

A devious smile crossed her face, causing my heart to beat much too fast. She was so beautiful.

Emmett returned with the markers at the same time that Esme brought in my plate. Bella moved to the chair closest to me so I could eat while she doodled on my cast. Joking and laughing, I almost forgot the awful happenings of the day.

As Bella nonchalantly passed the markers on to Alice, who squealed with glee, I glanced at my cast. It said:

L'alba di amore è prima di voi, se la prendiate

Bella

My brow furrowed and I ran my free hand through my hair, what on earth did that mean?

"Did I hurt you Edward?"Alice's brow was now furrowed.

"No, you're fine," I smiled, not wanting her to think she had hurt me.

By the end of the night, I had several very colorful designs and one limerick, courtesy of Em, that I hoped no one saw. For one evening, everything went well, I was beyond happy.

Bella had lingered near me most of the night and once in a while I could swear I felt an electric current pass between us. I longed to touch her.

My thoughts wondered thinking of what it would be like to run my fingertips through her think brown hair, it made me shiver slightly. Out of the corner of my eye, I peeked at her and caught her peeking back at me. I blushed furiously as she smiled at me slyly.

"All right kids, time to say your goodbyes. It's a school night," Esme stood in the doorway, arms folded on her chest and smiling as she spoke.

We all stood and started hugging Bella, telling her thanks and offering to let her sit with us a t lunch. I wanted to walk her out to her truck, which surprised me.

"Hey, I'll walk you out," I said as I turned my back on my family, not wanting to see their knowing expressions when I could already hear their thoughts.

"Sure, I'd like that," Bella stood near enough to me that we should have been touching, as she breathed out the words.

It was dark and chilly, not cold. It had rained but not the sky was clear and the stars were spread across it like white paint splattered on velvet.

"Beautiful," the word came out like a small sigh.

"Molto Bello," the word caressed her lips, making her impossibly more gorgeous.

"How do you know Italian," I let my curiosity get the better of me.

"My mother's brother, Marcus, lives in Volterra. I used to spend summers there," her smile at the memory seemed tainted with sadness.

"Well, I guess we will see you tomorrow then," my insides were screaming for her to stay.

"For sure, canzone del mio cuore ," she said sweetly.

As though we were in some slow motion loop, I watched as Bella's hand lifted towards my face then I shut my eyes and just let myself _feel _her hand as she cupped my cheek.

"L'un giorno, ruberò il vostro cuore ," was all she said before she got in her truck and went home.

Why the fuck had I taken French instead of Italian, I was mentally kicking the shit out of myself. My heart felt light, which was new for me, and I was feeling so tired now. Carlisle had given me some strong painkillers after dinner and they must have been kicking my ass now, I could barely keep my eyes open as I walked back inside.

_He was making way towards me with the belt, I was scared, terrified. He had already severely beaten me with his boot and I was almost certain I would die. Then, I saw her, she must have been an angel._

_Her brown, wavy hair flowed down her back, her intense chocolate brown eyes fixed on the man who was so hell bent on breaking an already broken spirit. Her pale skin seemed to glow._

_She stepped into the gap between me and him, held her hand up and shouted, "__Non lo toccherete__!"_

_Light immediately filled the room as he flew through the air and landed in the box intended to me. I watched, awe struck, as it slammed shut and locked. His cries of horror were like a hymn to me. _

_She bent down and offered me her hand. I took it and whispered, "Bella."_

For the first time in months, I woke feeling well rested _before _the alarm screeched. I sat up, stretched and looked out the large window wall at the sun rising. My arm ached, but Carlisle could help with that, and it was a new day.

The dream about Bella had me confused, I didn't want to think to much of it though. It was significant I couldn't deny that, however, I wasn't going to look a damn gift horse in the mouth. I picked my close, met my family downstairs and started the discussion on who would be driving my Volvo to school.

"I want to drive it," Emmett protested.

"No, the last time you drove it, you scratched the hell out of it. I trust Jazz, so he drives," I handed Jasper the keys to my baby, "You break my love, I break Alice."

I smirked.

"Oh, I think I can handle this," Jasper said, pulling Alice to his side.

We arrived at the school and I watched as Bella made her way towards us, much to the shock of the group she had started hanging out with yesterday. They slack jaw on Tyler made me laugh, his thoughts of bitterness at the lack of Bella's attention made the laugh become a hearty chuckle.

"Good morning Cullens," Bella's voice sang across the small distance between us.

"Morning right back," Alice said,reaching out and taking her by the hand.

It was amazing how well she fit into our family, I shook the thought out of my head. We fell into our normal formation, me in the center Emmett and Jasper at my sides,Rose and Alice at the front and the back. To my utter surprise, Bella pushed her way in between Alice and Jasper, making our protective circle one person stronger.

"Bella, you don't have to do this with us," shame filled my voice, "I don't want to make it hard for you to continue your other friendships."

"Look Edward, I can't just sit back and let what happened to you go unnoticed. I'm standing with you," her voice was intense.

I bowed my head, she would find out, they would black list her, then she would hate me. The electric feeling bonded between us again, making my emotions run higher. Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton glared at us, _Stupid girl, _Jessica thought,_ she'll pay, the Cullens are off __limits._

Alarmed I glared at her, willing some type of harm on her, which was unlike me. She would not hurt Bella. I would see to that and I was sure my family would too.

Emmett walked me to my first period class because his was next door. My skin felt hot under the glares of the other kids. Only a few of the eyes had a sorrowful look to the, I would nod to them, not wanting them to feel guilty for what they hadn't done.

"Dude, why are you letting them off the hook like that," Emmett asked, noticing the nods.

"They didn't push me into the closet Em," I shrugged.

"Damned if they did anything to help either," he growled.

As I sat, ignoring my Calc teacher, I'd already taken it once, I let Emmett's point hit home, they hadn't helped. The people who had known me the last few years, just listened as I broke down, not one of them lifting a finger to get help for me.

Only Bella.

She had been the only one to help me. Risking her new reputation to help the obvious outcast. She fucking deserved every ounce of my gratitude, none of them deserved anything. Right then, I resolved to let them wallow in their guilt.

Th bell rang and I met Em at the door. My morning continued in that way, with stares of contempt and stares of pity, both ignored. I was relieved when it was time for lunch. Jasper met me to walk me from English to the lunch building.

It was raining, so I pulled up my hood.

"You're pretty calm for someone who had such a traumatic experience yesterday Edward," Jasper said, seeming proud.

"I've suffered worse things Jazz. Maybe I'm used to it, I don't know."I sighed and felt Jasper's ability envelop me in comfort, like a warm blanket.

"Thanks,"I muttered.

"No prob," he laid a hand gently on my shoulder.

I only flinched away slightly.

The lunchroom was bright and full of life, our table was already full, Emmett had already gotten my lunch so I wouldn't have to go through the line. I nodded to him in thanks, _you're welcome Eddie, _he thought. I grimaced at his use of that awful nickname.

Emmett chuckled.

Alice was suddenly rushing to the table, she looked extremely shocked, her eyes so wide I thought they would pop the fuck out of her head.

"What's wrong with you?" I inquired.

I asked to late, I immediately heard what was wrong in the screams coming from the table not too far from us. I gave Alice a look that said, _what good is your ability if we don't know things BEFORE they happen._

I stood and turned their direction, as did the rest of us, Jessica was in Bella's face as the rest of the group looked on in horror. Then, Jessica smack Bella across the face.

"If you want to be part of this group, Jessica shouted, "then the Cullens are off limits. Especially that FREAK Edward."

The rage built in me like a tidal wave builds offshore.

"Who the fuck do you think you are Stanley?" Bella's tone reminded me of Rosalie.

"Either stay the hell away from them or get lost Swan," Jessica countered.

"Fuck you," Bella shouted as she turned towards our table.

Like a scene from some angst filled movie, Bella strode defiantly over to our table, no, over to _me._ The look emotion in her eyes made them look like chocolate fire, she suddenly reached for me. Instinctively, I pulled away, but she pulled me to her forcefully and I was to shocked to not allow it.

Bella tilted her head and leaned up, she crushed her lips to mine, taking all the breath out of my lungs as she did so. I could feel every single eye in the cafeteria on us, but I chose to melt into the passion of her kiss and not give a damn about everyone else.

Felling her tongue sweep my upper lip I allowed her entrance to my mouth. Delving into it, I could taste her, it was fucking delicious. I wanted to get lost in the power of her kiss, never come back up for air.

When she pulled away, gasping in air greedily, she threw a smug grin to Jessica.

"This Cullen," she grabbed my hand, "is mine. Don't tell me I have to stay away from him."


	5. A Time for Skipping

**Thank you for being so so patient for this chapter. It is much shorter than I usually post. I have some crap going on in my real life that I have had to deal with, it is blocking my writing, but I am working through it. You guys don't know how much I appreciate your patience!!**

**Leave me love. You are the best readers ever!**

**A/N I do NOT own Twilight!**

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The shock I felt expressed itself in a very smug grin, no one had ever said I was _theirs_, before.

"Ha!!! Take him, no one will fight you. Your social life is over in this town," Jessica shouted,as everyone looked on awestruck.

Flopping down in my chair, hoping everyone else followed my lead, I released a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"Silly Jessica, I think you will come to find it's not my social calendar that is going to be empty," Bella let out a dark laugh.

The cafeteria hissed collectively as I chuckled, much to Stanley's dismay.

"I think I love you," Rose told Bella, laughing heartily.

Slowly, everybody sat down and started to talk, ignoring the quiet hum of the whispering masses surrounding us. Everyone was very at ease, except me. What on earth just happened? I mean, I enjoyed it, fuck who wouldn't, but I was so confused it hurt.

"Ok who's takin Edie here to his next class," Emmett asked looking around the table.

"I'll do it," Bella chimed in, "We have biology together anyway. Plus I don't think anyone will be messing with me for a while."

"Ok, if anyone does give you trouble, let me know and they won't after that," Em pulled Bella into a crushing bear hug.

Everyone laughed again, I was beginning to feel as though I was in the Twilight Zone or some shit. Seriously, everyone was just accepting this girl and no one was mentioning the fact she had just had her, very skillful, tongue down my damn throat. Irrationally, I stood straight up, not sure of what I was hoping to accomplish by an outburst, just as the bell rang.

"Shall we," she offered me her hand.

I took it, fuck it, if I was going to hell I was going to do it thoroughly.

"Sure," I shot her a confused look.

We walked to class in silence, looking at all the people parting the waters as we walked. The looks of sheer what the fuck, amusing as hell. Entering the room, Mike Newton already seated at his table behind us, scowling,we settled into our seats and waited for the teacher.

The directions were given for an experiment and we started, making small talk through out.

"So, where are you from," I asked.

"Well, when Mom died, we were living in Phoenix," her eyes looked a little sad, "She liked the heat and sun. Dad and Mom had been divorced for years. Mom liked adventure, so, we stayed with Uncle Marcus in Italy pretty frequently . I could be from there too. What about you?"

"I lived in Chicago before Dr. Cullen adopted me," I said in a short manner.

Though I could feel the curiosity in her mind, she didn't prod.

"Do you like it here?" she continued.

"Sure, I guess. It isn't as easy to blend here, obviously," I snarled towards the end.

"If I can at all protect you from it that won't happen again, il mio luce chiaro," she looked at me with an intensity I couldn't place.

"Thanks," was all I could manage to mumble.

I needed to fucking learn Italian or start writing down what she was saying to get it translated. She could be calling me a dumb fuck for all I knew.

Bella looked at me as we, and the rest of the class, waited for the bell to ring, a flash of mischief in her eye.

"Give Alice the keys to the Volvo,"she beamed at me, "I want you to ditch the rest of the day with me."

"You want me to ditch school with you? Why on earth would I do that?"I snorted.

"Because, you're curious about me,"she shrugged.

Bella quickly reached out and placed her small hand in my jeans pocket, my jaw dropped to the floor, and before I knew what had happened she had me car keys.

"Fine, I'll go with you," I crossed my arms over my chest, "Doesn't seem as though I have a fucking choice."

Alice was waiting for me as biology ended, I walked up to her and was so fucking nervous I could hardly stand it. I handed her my keys, almost unable to let the precious things go.

"I'm riding home with Bella," I lied, "and she is walking me to my next class."

Alice's face suddenly lit up like her hair could have been on fire.

"Yay!" she threw her arms around my neck, confusing me further on the whole damn situation.

I watched as my sister skipped away down the hall, more than happy to leave me to a stranger, her thoughts full of love songs and purple flowers. Shaking my head, I walked calmly to Bella.

"Ok," she said, "When we leave the building to walk to our next class , we will just walk straight to my truck."

I nodded and we were off.


	6. delay

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Ok guys, just wanted to let you know, I am not updating tonight and maybe not for a couple of days. Someone close to me in real life lost his Dad today.

Your understanding in my delay is really appreciated.


	7. Alone

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I should have known her truck would be obnoxiously loud, after all, it looked like a death trap As I sat in the cab I longed for the Volvo and hoped we made it to where ever we were going in one piece.

When we started to head out of town, I worried a little, this girl could be planning to kill me and dump my body somewhere for all I knew.

"Where are we going?" I asked, hoping to mask the concern in my voice.

"Relax," she said, "I'm not going to kill you, I assure you I am not a serial killer."

Totally shocked, I stared at her. Did this girl just read my thoughts? _Calm yourself_, I scolded. She couldn't possibly have the same ability I did. Utterly absurd. Then I heard her chuckle. I glared at her.

"We're here," she said, getting out of the cab.

I scoffed at her, all "here" was, was the opening of a trail. She wanted me to hike?

"Where exactly is that?" I spat.

Bella didn't answer me, she just tromped towards the opening of the trail, looked at me over her shoulder, and expected me to follow. Hesitating, I shook my head as I lingered by the truck. Should I really follow this strange girl into the woods? Would my family miss me if I didn't return?

Then I felt it, that pull, and it took the choice out of my hands.

"Wait up," I called to her.

Bella slowed and turned to face me, the green of the forest making her pale skin seem to glow. I gasped at her beauty. My heart stuttered and, for a second, I could have sworn she smirked as though she had heard it.

Time passed slowly as we trudged through the thick forest. I thought we had been hiking at least an hour, but I couldn't be certain. Bella always trailed ahead of me, never slowing down, as though she was driven by some unseen force.

"We're almost there," she grumbled into the air in front of her.

She picked up the pace and I was amazed at her speed. I had heard horror stories from her gym classmates and yet, she hadn't fallen or stumbled once. Matching my pace with her own, I spotted a clearing just ahead.

Suddenly, Bella marched to the center of the clearing and turned to face me with her hands on her hips. I was perplexed, her stance seemed to have a tone of confrontation, yet I didn't know why.

As I stepped into the clearing myself, I noticed all the beauty surrounding us. The green was so soft and inviting, flowers of purple and light blue sprinkled throughout, that I almost wanted to lay down and never leave. The sight of Bella, standing one her little mound in the center of the clearing, surrounded by all that green was absolutely the single most excruciatingly beautiful thing my eyes had ever beheld.

"Edward," her voice was tense, "stop silently erecting a monument to my beauty and listen to me for a minute ."

She immediately had my full attention. Was she really reading my mind or was my face that easy to read? I tried to scan her thoughts, but the static was back full force and I couldn't get anything but feelings. She was feeling very tense about something.

Looking up at her through my eyelashes, I prepared for what ever little speech she had planned. Fuck, I was a freak, would it really matter if she was too?

"You're not a freak Edward, not in the slightest," she paused, taking in the obvious shock on my face, "There are some things you should probably know about me. I can't tell you everything today, but I can tell you some."

What in the fuck was she saying? My mind couldn't wrap around the scene playing out in front of me.

Bella sighed, "I knew you would be confused, but I had hoped that you being able to read minds would be helpful in this situation."

What. The. Fuck. How could sh possibly know that? My jaw tensed as I stood in silence, waiting for her next move. Just then, a breezed sighed through the meadow, swirling her strawberry scent all around me, and I relaxed.

"How in the hell do you know that Bella? I don't exactly go blasting it around on a loud fucking speaker," I slowly enunciated each word.

"I just," she seemed to be searching for the right words, "have a sense about that type of thing. I can do it too. Among other things," her brow furrowed as she looked into my eyes, setting my soul a light.

"You can read my mind? I can't read yours, well, at least not very well," I confessed.

"Oh come on Edward, you were putting it together. I threw you hints and I heard you pick up on those in your mind. You are being absurd to try and pretend like you hadn't," she raised one of her slender eyebrows at me.

"But why can't I read yours?" I questioned.

"It's part of, the other things I can do. I know about Alice's and Japser's powers too. Jasper's fascinates me. I can't really explain to you now why I have them or where they come from just that I understand you," she spoke softly, slowly moving towards me.

It was then I saw the blush take hold of her face and I was stunned. Bella was all confidence and spunk, what could she possible be about to say that would make her blush.

"Edward," she was looking at me through her full lashes, " do you feel drawn to me? Like you aren't complete without me? Like there is an invisible pull between us?"

When she looked at me straight on, her big brown eyes sparkling up at me, I felt a little dizzy. This was all so new to me. I never wanted to be touched, yet, I yearned to be close to Bella.

"Yes," I stated simply.

"It confuses me," she shook her head, frustrated, "It is such an intense feeling. I barely know you, yet, I would die for you. I know that sounds dramatic and irrational, but it is true. I have been thinking about it since that first day. I want nothing more than to protect you and be near you, to feel the heat of your skin on mine," she blushed again but never parted her eyes from mine.

I felt like I needed to let her in on my confusion, like I needed to let her know that she wasn't the only one. After all, she had done it for me earlier in confessing her mind reading ability.

"Sometimes," I lifted my hand and allowed it to hover just above her face, " I can feel a current, like electricity, flowing between us. Other times, the _need _to touch you is overwhelming."

Now, we were both blushing. The extra heat in Bella's face only strengthened the current between it and my hand. I wanted to touch her, I did, and I couldn't fucking do it. Why did I have to be so fucked up? She was confessing she felt the same as I did. It should have been a fucking dream come true, yet, here I was fucking hesitating in this deeply intense moment.

Bella's eyes flashed knowingly and she instantly leaned into my hand. The current peaked, almost like sparks, as her face crashed into my hand. It wasn't enough for pushed her frame against mine, my hand still firmly cupping her cheek. Then Bella wrapped her arms around my waist, tugging me as close to her as I could get without being her. My body tensed at her touch as my old reactions took over.

Fuck that, I wanted this. I wanted her. I _needed _her. I wasn't going to allow my body to rebel and ruin this for me. Fisting her hair in my hands, I did something that would have been unthinkable to me this afternoon. I fiercely pressed my lips to hers, allowing all the tension to melt around us like snow.

I felt Bella's hands graze slowly up may back, sending chills through me, as she traced my bottom lip with her tongue. I sighed into her. Sucking on her lip, tasting her sweetness, I felt whole. Fucked up, but whole. I never wanted to break away from her.

As Bella's fingers latched into my hair, I clearly heard her voice in my head, _Sono il vostro, Edward_. I felt myself come undone, scooping Bella up, never breaking the kiss,and laying her down on the soft grass. Her tongue dancing with mine, not fighting for dominance, just moving together in a graceful dance.

My mouth broke away from hers and I began to gently kiss my way down her jaw line to her ear. Her breath hitched as I took the lobe into my mouth, gently nipping at it. She moaned so quietly I wasn't sure I had heard it.

Bella pushed against my chest, hard. Forcing me to roll onto my back with her now taking the place of dominance above me.

I fucking loved it.


	8. The Longest Scar

**Ok, another short one, sorry guys!! Hope you like it.**

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The sight of her, looking at me with her hooded eyes, turned me on. I wanted her to kiss me, take charge. Yet somehow, it made me feel more fucked up than before. The feel of her teeth lightly grazing my neck muddled any further thoughts.

Bella began to push her hands into my sweater when, purely out of instinct, my hand flew to stop her. Grabbing her wrist and looking at her firmly.

"Edward, we can stop now. If the scars bother you that much, I'll stop," she ran both hands through her hair after I had let her go.

I lowered my eyes, the scars did bother me, and decided I didn't want to stop. Why should my asshole father, I was using the term loosely, continue to control my life. He controlled my dreams, but I wouldn't fucking allow him to control this.

I placed my hands on Bella's tiny fucking hips, letting out a low growl, and pushed her back far enough for me to sit up. If I let her take my shirt off I would chicken out and no fucking way was that about to happen.

Looking fearlessly into her chocolate brown eyes, I yanked my sweater off in one fluid motion.

I had expected her to gasp, be repulsed, anything the ended with her standing up and walking away. She just sat there, the heat rising in her cheeks, staring quietly at my marked body. I looked down, cataloging the many scars on my body, waiting for some kind of spoken reaction as I couldn't hear her mind well enough to get one that way.

Suddenly, Bella hissed. I jumped from the shock of the sound. Gently, she touched one of my most prominent scars. The scar started just below my left collar one and finished it's jagged journey just under the bottom of the right side of my rib cage. It had happened shortly before Carlisle adopted me and was the direct result of the first time I had tried to fight back.

_It was my birthday, how I kept track of them I would never know, and the old man was drunk. I was so tired of the abuse. Constantly living in fear was killing me. I found that I had begun to try to piss him off, trying to see just how far I could push him. Maybe he would actually kill me and I would be free. I could hear him, from my small prison, beating my mother. She was screaming._

"_Leave him alone Anthony! He's had enough, you've already broken him," her voice ripped through my head._

_I didn't want her to try to protect me that would only lead to her being beaten worse. As though he had read my thoughts, I heard the sickening thud that must have been my mother slamming into the wall. My bedroom door creaked open, cool determination replacing the dread I usually felt at the sound._

_I heard him fiddling with his keys, cursing as he unlocked th door. I would catch him off guard and run or be killed. Either way made no difference to me. He flung open the door and I only took about a second to register the shock on his face as my bare feet collided with his chest. _

_He flew backwards as I tried to scramble to my feet. I couldn't stand up fast enough, damn that box!! He grabbed me by my hair and slammed me to the floor. A sick smile playing on his greasy face. _

"_Where do you think you are going boy?" he whispered into my ear, "you'll pay for that."_

_As I watched him pull the rusty pocket knife from his pants I prayed that he would kill me. If he didn't I would probably die slowly of some kind of infection. He leaned in close to me again, his hard stomach brushing mine, and began to cut._

_The pain was searing. I could see it and it was a white hot light. He was cutting deep enough. Frantically, I decided I had to get him off me and try to get to a hospital. As the knife caressed my rib cage, I kicked him in the groin as hard as I could. _

_He rolled off of me and puked in my floor, then curled up in it and started screaming at me. I didn't listen. I stood and ran, bare feet and torn bloodied shirt, and didn't stop until I reached the hospital. _

_I stumbled into the ER in tears, so grateful to just be somewhere safe. The triage nurse immediately rushed to where I had collapsed, dripping blood, on the floor._

"_Sir, are you ok?" she gasped when she saw my wound._

_She began yelling for things, I couldn't understand her in my exhausted, blood losing state. Soon, everything went black. When I awoke, it was Carlisle's blonde head that greeted me._

"If I could take all these memories from you Edward, I would," Bella sighed.

"Thank you. Without them, though, I would never have met Carlisle or you," I looked down as I spoke.

I was unable to meet her gaze. Never before had I opened myself like this to someone outside myself. I wasn't sure I liked it.

Bella, sensing or knowing my thoughts, flung herself on me. Showering my face and shoulder with kisses. The feel of it made me tingle, with Bella here I would never need the sun again to feel warm.

I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I slowly brought her to my mouth.

At first, our lips barely touched. It made my whole body buzz with anticipation. I pushed my mouth to hers just a little harder and felt her moan into me. I nipped her bottom lip in response and her hands re-knotted into my hair. Then she took my bottom lip in mouth, biting it in earnest, and I growled holding her to me tightly.

I didn't want this to go too far, I wasn't ready for it. There were still too many unanswered questions for me. So, I was happy when my cell rang.

"Hello," I answered it, wincing as Bella knocked my casted arm.

"Edward, you have to come home now. Carlisle is asking for you and it's hard for us to cover for you when school has been out for over an hour and Bella still hasn't brought you home," Alice laughed.

I flipped it shut and pulled my sweater back on before turning to Bella, " I have to go home."

The car ride was short and I kissed her on the cheek when she dropped me off. I explained about the pain pills and how I wouldn't be much company once Carlisle got them into me. She let me bow out gracefully. I fucking loved that girl, which scared me.

Once Carlisle was sure I was in one piece, he allowed me to go up to my room in peace. I wasn't ired, yet, and decided to sit at my piano for a while. My fingers did the usual warm up routine as though they were their own living being. Then I began playing randomly whatever came to mind,

Eventually, I began to notice a theme in the sound and style of the small bits of music. Excitedly, I began to string them together, seeing their inspiration form in my mind.

It was a song about Bella.

It was my heart in musical form. I played and played. I played until I nearly passed out at the piano.

That was the night I wrote my Bella's song. The song of my heart.


	9. The Boy in the Wayfarers

**Ok this is a short chapter but I am going to update one more time today and TRUST ME the wait will be worth it.**

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The next week went by without much incident. Bella stayed with me, at all times when possible. She sat with us at lunch and often stayed the night with Alice or Rose. She was quickly becoming a permanent fixture in my life. I loved it.

Since she started becoming more and more apart of our family I had begun to notice little things about her. She could read minds, very very well. She seemed to be able to protect me in a way no one ever has before, almost as though she was repelling all those who wanted to hurt me. Most noticeable to me, she was in my dreams every night now.

I had the distinct feeling that she was really there, almost as though she was protecting me from my own nightmares. I was grateful, but I needed to know what in the hell was going on and Carlisle had provided me with the perfect opportunity to do so this weekend.

Carlisle had been nominated for an prestigious award and he had to go to Chicago to get it. The whole family was going, aside from me. I was more than capable of spending the weekend alone and had assured Carlisle I would be ok.

"Edward, we will stay here. The award isn't as important to me as you are," he placed his hand on my shoulder as he spoke.

"Carlisle, I will be hurt if you stay here b/c of my hang ups. That would be utterly absurd and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I'll be ok," I replied.

With a short nod of his head, he went and started to plan the trip with the rest of the family.

My birth parents were still alive and they still lived in Chicago. I had no desire to go somewhere I might run into them. They knew who Carlisle was and, if I knew them, they would be at that party asking Carlisle for more money. The amount he had to pay them to give me up in the first place was more than most make in a lifetime.

I hoped Carlisle had the foresight to not give them any fucking money, but I knew him and he was kind. He would see it as some type of hand up instead of the hand out that it was. I loved Carlisle but, as far as I was concerned, those heartless bastards could rot in hell. They didn't even deserve to _look _at Carlisle.

They had left early this morning, taking Friday off of school. Em and Alice were worried something would happen while they were gone and had made me promise not to go into school. I had assured them I wouldn't but I had every intention of going. I needed to make sure Bella would come.

That was how I came to be sitting in my car, just before lunch, trying to decide just how to ask Bella to stay with me this weekend. I didn't want to offend her. I knew she wasn't just some whore or something and I was afraid that is how she would take it. I had skipped my previous class to sit and rehearse in the mirror.

"Bella," I cleared my throat, "my family is gone for the weekend and I was wondering if you would like to come stay with me."

I rolled my eyes at my own lame ass reflection and cursed. Yep, it was official, I was a dumb ass. I sighed and got out of the Volvo and headed toward the lunch building. I could hear people sniggering at me in their thoughts, but I had become so used to it by now I ignored the dull hum of it.

The air left my lungs as I strode through the doors. Bella was wearing a dark, dusky, blue t-shirt that said San Fransisco across the front of it. It looked like she had worn it in pretty well. It made her pale skin seem to glow and her rose colored lips look that much more kissable. I moved towards her, releasing the breath I'd been holding.

"Hey," she said, a curious look in her eyes, "I have seen any of your family today. Where is everyone?"

"Well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that," I sat done trying to be as cool as fucking possible, "My family is in Chicago for the weekend and I thought maybe you could come stay with me."

Bella seemed angry, I hadn't expected that, and I instantly felt fucking ridiculous.

"Why would they leave you here?" she hissed.

Relieved, I attempted to explain, "I told them to go without me. Bella, I'm from Chicago. My parents still live in Chicago. I really don't ever want to fucking set foot there again."

Understanding crossed her beautiful face.

"Ok," she smiled, "I'll follow you home from school."

I waited for her after school, leaning on the Volvo with my wayfarers on, trying to be cool. Her truck, that monstrosity she loved, was parked next to me as always. She strolled confidently to me and tilted her head to one side and said, "Nice glasses."

"Thanks," I tried to seem uninterested.

Bella's hand slid into my hair as she stood in her toes and leaned into my body. Her lips were gentle, yet forceful at the same time against my own. The heat of her body against mine took me completely off guard and the next thing I knew I had tugged her book bag off her shoulders and slung her legs around my waist.

There we were, leaning against the Volvo, wrapped around each other in the school parking lot playing fucking tonsil hockey as our classmates looked on. I could hear Jessica Stanley's thoughts screaming from inside her car, _Oh my fucking god!_

Bella must have heard it as well because I could feel her chuckle into my mouth. The fact that she could hear it bonded us more and I took her bottom lip into my mouth and bit down, she gasped and threw her arms around me tighter.

One of us had to pull away or the whole town was going to be talking about how Edward Cullen had take Bella Swan on the hood of his Volvo and I didn't think Charlie Swan would take to that very kindly. So, gasping for air, I pulled away.

"See you at the house," I spoke breathlessly.

She simply nodded and got into her truck.

Maybe I wouldn't get a whole lot of talking done this weekend.

Maybe I didn't give a flying fuck anymore.


	10. Hammers and Strings

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I paced in our open kitchen. She had to stop at home give Charlie a story and then get a bag and come here. Her truck was painfully slow and I didn't know how long it was going to take. When she got here, I wanted to confront her. I wanted to know what made Bella so fucking special.

I had played out many scenarios in my head. Vampire, but she was too warm and had a heartbeat. Some kind of half vampire thing, but I really though that was ridiculous. Some kind of witch, yet another fucking ridiculous Cullen original.

I let out a sigh. I wasn't any of those things. Neither were Alice and Jasper. Yet we all had powers. We'd all just been born that way. So why not Bella? The internal argument was because she had too many powers.

Edward Cullen, the freak who could read minds and had the most fucked up childhood ever, was saying someone was unnatural. Who was I really to make that kind of judgement? I mean really.

I walked the length of the kitchen two more times before I heard the dull humm of Bella's truck through the walls of the house. I headed towards the front door.

"Hey Bella," I said opening the door.

"Hey," she replied.

Leading her to the living room, I sat down on the cough and motioned her to take a seat.

"I really think we need to talk before we do anything else," I said, wishing it wasn't true.

Bella looked down at her fidgeting hands as though they were somehow betraying her and sighed.

"Ok," she said, sounding defeated.

"I need to know how you have all these powers. It won't matter to me, nothing could change how I feel about you," I pulled her chin up so she would look at me, " You are my life now. I just need to know."

She stood up and started pacing like a caged tiger. Her small hand covering her mouth as she moved deeper into thought. She was making me nervous. It felt as though she thought she was about to rip us apart and I didn't fucking like it.

I stood and grabbed her by the shoulders. Not paying attention she slammed into me so hard I fell to the ground.

"Damn it!" she yelled.

She reached down and yanked me up like I was a rag doll.

"You can't surprise me like that," she scolded.

"What the fuck was that Bella?" I said, shocked.

She let out a heavy breath and began.

"No one but my mother, who is now dead, and my father, and no I don't mean Charlie, know what I am about to tell you," she paused and pushed me onto the couch, "Charlie thinks he is my dad but he isn't. Marcus is not my Mother's brother. My Mother met Marcus when she went on a graduation trip to Italy. She was already dating Charlie by then but she fell for Marcus. When she found out Marcus was a Vampire," she pause just slightly and eyed me, " I had already been conceived."

I tried to interrupt her, that just couldn't be true, but she waved her hand in dismissal.

"She had to leave Italy, she couldn't stay. Marcus warned I would grow quickly. In a panic my mother told Charlie she had been pregnant since before graduation. Charlie quickly married her. He loved her so much," she smiled and squeezed the bridge of her nose, "When she saw how quickly I was growing after I was born she did the only thing she could think of—she left."

"She didn't want to leave, she truly loved Charlie. She said some very hurtful things, hoping he wouldn't chase after her. She was a wreck when she returned to Marcus. Marcus took us in and even bought us a house in Phoenix for when my growth stabilized. Marcus taught me to read and write. He taught me about what I was and how to control my powers. Marcus has been a wonderful father to me. So has Charlie."

"But Bella, what does all that mean? If you were a vampire would you be, more-----dead?" I was incredibly confused and it was making me fucking dizzy.

"I'm a Dhampir. My mother is human, but my father is a vampire. Had I not been born in the hospital, my mother would have likely died. I can eat food, just like you, or drink blood. I can't turn people. Something to do with being female. That is where all my powers come from and yes that is why I sound like a static filled radio to you," She let out a huge puff of air and flopped down on the couch beside me.

I expected my world to come apart. To be shocked and not want to be near her. All I felt though was a need to let her know I wasn't going anywhere. That even though I hadn't said it yet, I loved her. I didn't care is she sucked me dry, if I died in her arms I would die in a cloud of bliss.

I didn't know what to do next. The tension hummed between us like a living thing, rising and falling like breath. When I stood I wasn't entirely sure I had willed myself to do it. I grabbed her hand and her face looked up at me, utterly shocked, and for the first time I felt how much warmer she was than me.

My body was leading me and, until we had almost reach the room, I wasn't quite sure where we were headed.

The room my piano was in was bathed in beautiful sunset light, all reds and oranges. I wanted to play her song and some how she would get it. Some how it would be ok. I sat on the piano bench, pulling her down into my lap. She fit there perfectly, even if she could kill me with her pinky. I looked into her eyes and tried to convey what this mean for me. The sun made her eyes the most terrific warm chocolate brown I had ever seen.

I gently kissed her neck and felt her pulse. The fast beat was suddenly terrifying.

I began to play, my eyes never leaving hers. The tension quickly became a pulsating heat. The music filled the empty space between us. I filled it with so much emotion it hurt. My heart was bleeding music for her. I didn't care what she was, I wanted to be with her, only her.

A tiny whisper filled my sense, "This song is about me?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

Immediately she threw her arms around my neck. Her soft lips pressed swiftly against mine and her tongue didn't waste any fucking time trying to gain entrance to my mouth. I granted her entrance, she tasted so fucking sweet. I wondered if that was part of what she was. It was only a fleeting though though because I felt her hot hands on the crotch of my pants.

I hissed.

"Don't fucking do that if you don't want to follow through with this," I growled.

The only answer she gave was the slow unzipping of my pants.

I pulled her blue shirt over her head and the piano keys made an obnoxious crash as I lifted her onto my black grand piano. Her black lacy bra taunted me as her nipples strained against it. I wanted to free them so I could trap them in my mouth. I watched as they heaved with each breath and I wondered if she was as nervous as I was.

I undid the front clasp, silently thanking whatever fucking power there was for it being in the front, and freed her beautiful round breasts. I slowly ghosted my hands up her now-naked torso. She groaned slightly as I cupped one of her breasts. I positioned myself over her and took one of the hard nipples in my mouth, rolling it around with my tongue as she bucked under me.

"Do you like that," I spoke around her nipple.

She moaned.

I reached down, with my other hand, and undid her pants. I lazily ran my index finger under the hem of her underwear, making her lift her hips to meet me. She was so fucking beautiful half naked on my piano, I stopped for a second just to take her in.

She looked at me with her hooded eyes and said, does my being half-naked bother you?"

I plunged my hand into her pants in response. I stroked her small bundle of nerves and watched smuggly as her hips moved with my hands. She sat up, my hand till in her pant sand yanked off my shirt.

I was shocked when I heard the crunch of my skin being broken as she bit me.

"Bella!" I called out her name.

It felt incredible to me. She panted into the space where my neck and shoulders met as she drank me in.

Taking my hand out of her pants, I lifted her to and relieved myself of my fucking pants and boxers. She climbed down from me long enough to pull off her own pants. For a split second, we just stared. Then Bella jumped lithely back into my arms and began the gently drinking she had been doing before. She purred my name between sips.

I laid down on top of the piano's shiny black surface and lowered Bella onto my fully erect penis. She was so hot, it felt so good. She suddenly hissed, arching her back until her hair brushed my legs behind her.

"Oh, fuck, Edward!" she yelled

I reached up and took both of her heaving breasts in my hands and she began to pump me in and out of her at her pace. I didn't think I would last long so I began rubbing her clit in small circles with my thumb. Her growl turned me on impossibly more.

"Edward, don't stop," she breathed, "I'm so close."

I wanted to tell her how close I was, but I was afraid it would push me over that edge. Bella looked down at me, knowingly, shit I had forgotten she could read my mind. I pressed my thumb into her harder and whisper her name. She leaned into my my chest and bit me again as her motions became more frantic. I felt her sex clamp down around me as she pulled her face away from me, her mouth covered in my blood. The sight sen me over the edge ad I held onto her hips and thrust myself into her with all the strength I could muster.

"Fuck," I breathed.

"Edward," Bella looked up at me, "I love you."

"I love you too, Bella," I replied.

A tear slid down my cheek as we laid entangled on top of my piano in the encroaching darkness.


	11. Story of a Boy

**Ok guys, this was a heavy chapter to write so it is a little short. I'll update again soon. I'm curious if you guys might like a playlist with the chapters, let me know.**

**Leave me love!**

**I do NOT own Twilight.**

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After we had unwound from each other we took a shower and readied ourselves for bed. I was so glad she was here. So glad. I fucking loved this girl.

My room had one wall entirely made of window. A wall of shelves holding my various forms of music and my sound system. My bed, which was a deep cherry four post. It had a bark blue bed cover. My books and desk were cluttered with my macbook and various compositions in differing stages of completion.

Bella slowly walked in, wearing her grey sweats and a white tee, and took in her surroundings. I wondered how it must look to her. I was sure she must see in much clearer detail than I did. Could she smell the age of my vinyl?

"You have so much music," she turned and placed her head on my chest, "but this is the best music I have ever heard."

"Bella," I flinched slightly, " Do you want to know a secret?"

"Of course," she replied.

I took her by her shoulders and pushed her away from me, needing her to look in my eyes. My chest sounded like a drum to me. Calm the fuck down Cullen, I scolded myself.

"I fucking love you," I muttered.

"I fucking love you too," she smirked.

The air between us hummed and, though it was still staticy, I could feel the love coming off of her in waves. I knew she wasn't lying. Warmth spread from my chest to my finger tips. Leaning down to her, I pressed my lips to hers.

We laid down in my bad and snuggled close. Her smell was driving me up a wall. She smelled so sweet, like strawberries covered in sugar. Suddenly, I felt a curiosity sparked in her. I hated not having a clear picture of her mind.

"Edward?" her voice seemed unsure.

"Yea," I tensed slightly.

"Will you tell me how Carlisle adopted you?" she asked.

I sighed. Not even my siblings knew this entire story. Only Esme, Carlisle and myself did. Maybe telling her would bring us closer together. I certainly didn't feel any trepidation over it.

"Ok," I whispered.

FLASHBACK

When I woke up I was in a private room and Carlisle was there. The bed was so soft under me that it was like my own personal heaven. Then I slowly started to realize I was hooked to an IV and my chest was on fire. My hand flew to my chest, but Carlisle stopped it before I could do any damage.

"Calm down Edward. You are safe now," he said placing his hands around mine.

I reached out to him with my mind, trying to discern his intentions as I was unable to give trust to anyone. His mind was pure light and optimism. He was wishing I would calm down and talk to him. He was worried for my well being.

Through his mind I got a look at myself. I was clean, my hair as unkempt as it always was. My face was bruised, I was pretty sure my nose was broken. A complete and total fucking mess.

"We have to call your parents Edward. First, though, I want to know how this happened to you," Carlisle's face was an unreadable mask.

For a second I considered lying and saying I had tripped or something, but I realized that would only get me sent back home. Still, the fear that I would end up in foster home after foster home wasn't much comfort either. I sighed and decided honesty would be the best policy.

"My dad did it," I looked away from Cralisle, " he drinks too much and beats me often. Last night I had had enough and when he unlocked the box," I paused when I heard Carlisle gasp, "I kicked him and tried to get out. I wasn't fast enough and he decided to carve me like a turkey."

Suddenly, I could feel Carlisle's mind reeling. He did not want to send me home with that monster. He wanted to adopt me somehow.

"That won't be easy," I answered his thoughts before I knew what I was doing.

"Excuse me?" he said politely.

"Adopting me. That bastard won't let me go. He'll fight for me so he can kill me himself," I sneered as I spoke.

"Edward, I never said anything about adopting you," his voice was eerily even.

Fuck, why did I always fuck up? I wanted to kick myself.

"I heard you think it," I revealed shamefully.

"Really? That's quite interesting," Carlisle was suddenly beaming at me.

My brow furrowed, I was fucking confused as to why this was so interesting. I hated my ability. Dad's thoughts were so black and slimy. I hated knowing when he was going to come beat me and the awful things he thought while he was oding it. Shuddering, I looked up at Carlisle.

He was pale, his hazel eyes shone with some unknowable happiness. His nose was sharp but it fit his face well and his blonde hair was combed away from his face. He was very handsome.

"You're right though, I do not wish to see you go back into that type of situation," he paused and looked at me," Would you be willing to come live with me?"

Fuck yes I would. Was he serious, why wouldn't I be willing?

"Yes, but with one condition," the anger of 13 years rose in me like venom.

"Yes?" he stated simply.

"I don't want to stay in Chicago," with every fiber of my being I hoped he would agree.

"Well, that works out then. My family and I will be moving to Washington by the end of the month," his smile grew impossibly wider.

My head was reeling. Would I finally be taken out of that nightmare? I didn't dare to hope it could ever happen. To distract myself from the hope that was currently nagging my heart, I decided to ask about my injuries.

"How bad is it?" I looked down at myself.

A dark cloud crossed Carlisle's face for the first time and I knew it must have been a close call.

"You lost a lot of blood. He cut you diagonally from your collar bone to your opposite side, it took over one hundred stitches to close you up. Well over. Now it is infected but we are treating it and hopefully it will clear up quickly. Your nose was broken, but not severely. Your face is very bruised and you were pretty dehydrated," Carlisle placed his hand on my leg as he spoke.

"Will you call them now?" I was dreading this.

"Yes, I have to. Don't worry I will not let you leave here with them Edward. I promise," he spoke and squeezed my leg.

He rose and left the room directly after. Deciding now was as good a time as any, I pulled my gown away from my chest. The movement on its own caused me great discomfort. The bandage was wrapped loosely around my middle. The only part exposed was just under my collar bone. The memory of it slapped me and I felt the anxiety rise in my throat.

The nurse came in and shocked me a little farther.

"Are you ok Edward?" she asked walking to the monitor, " your blood pressure s up some. Would you like your pain medicine?"

"Yes, please," I was desperate to get away from the memories.

She left for a few minutes and came back with some liquid she injected into my IV tubing. The effect was nearly immediate. Shortly after the pain faded so did the fear and I began to get sleepy.

When I woke my father was sitting in the chair beside my bed, boring holes in me with his eyes. I found myself wishing I hadn't ever woke up. He smelled of mouthwash. I knew he was covering up the fact he was drunk, albeit poorly. He leaned in close to me and I cringed.

"Your pretty boy doctor wants us to give you to him," his voice dripped with contempt, "When I told him to fuck off, he offered me half a million for you. When I said yes your mother started crying. I didn't give a shit."

The smile I recognized crept across his face as I looked up at my mother. She was so pale. I loved her and yet I hated her. She never stopped him or left him. She had doomed me to this life just as much as he had. Even though the look of a dead person in her eyes bothered me, I couldn't help but feel happy.

I was free.

"One day, Edward, I will find you. I will break you and ruin your life. You will always be mine," his whisper burned my ear.

He stood slowly and clutched my mother's wrist. As he pulled her out of the room she didn't look back but the last thought I ever heard from her was, _"Edward, please be happy. You are free."_

PRESENT

Finishing my story, I made an effort to relax my body.

"Your father was a horrible person," Bella was speaking very quietly.

"I love you," I wanted to change the subject.

"Edward, I love you too, you will always be mine. I will always protect you," she rolled over to face me as she spoke.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and snuggled her head under my chin. My fingers wound themselves in her hair and I was content. We slipped into a peaceful sleep. Even when I was woke suddenly by my nightmares, in which Bella was now a key player, her presence lulled me back to sleep.

I wished this weekend would never end.

She was my reason for being.


	12. Bella Speaks

**A/n. I know it has been a very long span b/t updates and I apologize for that. In the last month 4 people I know have died. It's been a long month. I will now try to update a lot more on all my stories.**

**Also, if you have a twitter account I have started a twitter for my fanfiction account!! I will update it and keep everyone up to date on what story I am updating and when. It can also be used just to talk to me if you like.**

**/Amanda_Cullen84**

**My screen name on Twitter is Amanda_Cullen84**

**As always, I do NOT own Twilight**

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**BPOV**

As I watched him, my angel, drift into sleep, I wondered if this was how my mom had felt about Marcus.

Marcus, who was my biological father and tried to be there for me, could never compare to the love I received from Charlie. Charlie was my dad. When Mom died, Marcus had begged me to come stay with him. I chose Charlie.

When I first came to Forks I wasn't sure I made the right choice. I was so out of place here. Then I met Edward.

His thoughts drew me in, though his good looks didn't hurt either. Edward seemed so sad and yet, there was light and love and brilliance shining through his beaten, tarnished exterior. He had a secret and so did I. I was pulled to him like gravity.

I never would have guessed that he would need saving so soon after we met.

I would have gladly drained Jessica Stanley dry, even though she probably tasted like flaming dog crap. If there hadn't been a large group of people I may very well have ended her miserable existence. I shook off those thoughts. I was not a monster.

Charlie was still blissfully unaware of my true nature. I was grateful for that fact, even though I though his ignorance was forced. There was a long period where I couldn't even visit him b/c of my accelerated growth and that hurt him. He didn't know why Renee would have kept me from him for so long, but he called and sent cards just the same.

When I finally reached the age I actually looked like, I was allowed to see him again. The reunion was bittersweet. I went to stay with him the summer I turned thirteen, he just thought I was over developed for my age, and it was also the summer we found out my mother had been harboring a horrific secret.

Renee had cancer.

She told us it had started years earlier and she thought it was under control. She'd found a ;ump in one of her breasts and had it removed and gone through chemo. She wore wigs when her hair started falling out to hide it from me. They told her it was in remission but had found it spread to her bones just before she came to get me from Charlie's.

I was devastated.

The knowledge that I would out live my mother by a lot had never meant a whole lot to me, until now. I couldn't imagine my life without her, I didn't want to. I begged her to let Marcus change her and so did Marcus. She wanted no part of it. Marcus and I cared for her as she received treatment to try to save slowed the progression and gave her a few extra years with us.

When I told Marcus I wanted to go live with Charlie, he couldn't understand my choice. He told me he wouldn't stop me and that I always had a home with him. I didn't feel like I fit with him and the other vampires in Italy. I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't a human. I didn't know where I fit.

Looking at Edward, laying beside me, I knew I fit here.

The next morning, I awoke to find myself alone in bed a note place on the pillow beside me.

_Went downstairs to make breakfast. Hope you like eggs._

_Look after my heart, I've left it with you,_

_E_

Stretching, I rose and let my feet flop to the floor. I heard the phone ring downstairs and I became curious, so I headed downstairs. When I entered the kitchen Edward's face was pale as a sheet and his empty hand was rubbing at his chest, a movement I knew meant he was upset.

I rushed over to him and pulled him down into my lap on the floor. He was much taller than me and it looked really fucking awkward, but that was ok with me.

From what I could gather, he was on the phone with Carlisle and something awful must have happened. I didn't want to force myself into his thoughts so I waited patiently for him to get off of the phone with Carlisle. With each passing minute I knew something was very terribly wrong.

As soon as Edward hung up the phone I looked at him expecting an explanation.

"I have to go to Chicago," he spoke with absolutely no feeling.

"Why?" I asked.

"My father, he," he took a large breath, " not only murdered my mother, but he's hurt Alice. Alice is in the hospital. She tried to save my Mother, for me. They found her just in time. I have to go to her, I have to."

"Edward, I won't let you go alone. Go pack your bag, I'll call Charlie. Explain to him what's going on," I had no doubt Charlie would let me do this, he adored the Cullens.

Edward stood and walked, like a man controlled by puppet strings, to his room. I went outside with my cell to call Charlie. The warm sun hitting my face seemed surreal.

"Bells?" the voice of my dad questioned on the line.

"Dad, I have to take Edward to Chicago. Something bad has happened to his sister and I don't want him to make the flight alone," I tried not to hint at the seriousness with the ton of my voice.

"Not Alice right?" he asked, concerned.

"Yea,dad, it was Alice. I don't have any details but when I get there I will. I already have the clothes I packed for the weekend. I'll call you when we land, ok?" I tried to give him as much information as I could.

"Ok, be careful Bells. You still have th pepper spray I gave you, right? Just call me when you get there and tell Carlilse I;m thinking of him," his voice sounded a little guffer than normal.

Hanging up the phone, I grabbed the keys to the Volvo. No matter what Edward said I would be driving. I heard him coming down the stairs and met him in the front room. He looked like a broken man. Edward had been broken before this, but I knew how much he loved Alice. There bond was nothing short of twin-like. He was blaming himself.

He ran a hand through his bronze locks, "Ready?"

"Yea, I'll drive. No arguments," I said flatly.

Grabbing his hand, I led him out the door. After we were sure everything was locked up tight, we headed for the Volvo.

We drove like an angel escaping hell. Little did we know we were head straight for the mouth of hell itself.


	13. Into Chicago

**A/N, Ok guys another short one but, hey, two in one day!!**

**I'm getting back into the swing of it so it should be updated a lot more. I really have appreciated you pateince with me as I dealt with the deaths in the last month. thanks guys.**

**Also I want to remind you I now have a twitter account for my fanfiction updates. The URL is in my profile!**

**Leave me love**

**I do NOT own twilight**

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**EPOV**

I tried to stay calm on the plane, but my heart felt like it was trying to escape through my mouth. Chicago was the very last place I wanted to be, fucking ever. I didn't want to see my father or my mother. Now, I was wishing the plane could fly faster towards that hated destination.

Alice better be ok. Our bond was such that I would like to think I would know if it was too bad, but I didn't really know or trust that I would. Grabbing Bella's hand so tight it would leave marks on a normal person, I remained silent through the entire flight.

As Chicago came into view, my muscles coiled even tighter. Bella kept sneaking sidelong glances at me and I knew she was concerned. Em was supposed to meet us at the airport and take us to the hospital where Carlisle had found me and where Alice now lay.

Without a word, Bella and I left the plane and went to the luggage claim. We'd only pack one suitcase between us. As we approached the exit of the airport I spotted Em.

Em was running a hand through his dark curly hair. He looked like he hadn't fucking slept in weeks and I didn't allow myself to think about what it meant for Alice. I didn't want to collapse in the middle of the airport.

"Come on bro," Em said, taking the bag from Bella.

We followed the quiet and sullen Emmett to Carlisle's BMW. When we were all piled ominously into the interior I allowed myself to freak the fuck out.

"Em, what the fuck happened here?" I anxiously whispered.

"Everything was fine, then Alice had one of her visions," he paused to look at Bella, "and she bolted from the ball. Jasper couldn't find her, none of us could. We were so fucking worried."

My brother looked twenty years older in an instant and my heart sank.

"Then she called Carlisle's cell. At least we think it was her. He had it tracked and we found her," he stopped, unsure if he should continue, "in your old house, in your old room, in the box."

I heard the agonized roar before I registered it was coming from me. Em though I'd lost it, I could hear it clearly. Hell, I was thinking I had lost my fucking mind.

"What else damn it," was all the encouragement I could muster for him to continue.

"You're mother," Em's voice wavered, "she was draped over the box. We think she was trying to protect Alice or let her out. Your dad, he strangled her."

"Where is he?" I growled.

"Jail, where he belongs," Em growled back.

"How bad is it Emmett?" I didn't have to explain further, he knew what I meant.

"Well, lets just say you and Alice will have matching scars," he replied very quietly.

My hand flew to my chest before I could restrain the fucker. I knew that's what he meant. It was by far my worst scar. God, poor Al. Poor fucking Al. I just wanted to be with her. It was then that I realized the heaviest type of anger was rolling off of Bella.

We reached the hospital in record time, given the traffic in Chicago anyway. I was anxious to see Alice. Carlisle was waiting for me out side of her room. He looked so much older and the fine lines around his eyes were much more prominent.

"Oh, Edward, thank goodness you're here," he said as I rushed to embrace him.

And I could feel it, the shift in the air because we were together. A unit. A family. Everyone's minds relaxed a little as though we couldn't have handled this apart. Esme shifted into a more natural position and Jasper stopped pacing. It was like someone let the spring relax.

I walked in and was instantly shocked by what I saw.

The tiny figure that was Alice, lay in the bed. She was pale, even against the white sheets, her black hair matted down flat to to her head. She was hooked to an IV and had a familiar bandage just barely showing through the neck of her gown. I gently touched the dark circles under her eyes and, letting all my walls crumble, I wept.

"Edward," a hoarse voice that must have belonged to Alice spoke soothing tones, "don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm ok, I promise."

"You're hurt Alice. I know how much pain your in, I've been there, remember?" I didn't want here to try to make me feel better.

She reached out her small hand and placed it on my chest, on my own scar.

"I'm only sorry I couldn't stop him. I know you love your mother. Even though you blame her, you love her. I didn't want you to have to suffer through this and here I made it worse," Alice spoke quietly as our family and Bella watched our interaction.

"You shouldn't have Al, you shouldn't have gone. You never stood a chance. I'm so thankful you made it out ok. Those people are not worth your effort, you remember that for me," I said as I leaned my forehead on hers.

"Ok," she sighed and shut her eyes as the pain meds made her fall back asleep.

I felt dizzy, but I ignored it and walked over to my real mother and father.

"Do we have a hotel room or something? I am so tired, I just would like to nap and clean up. I'm sure Bella would too," I nodded in her direction.

"Yes, we had to get another suite for you two, there were no more beds left, but it is next door to ours," he reached in to his pocket and fished out the key and some money, "take a cab. We'll see you there later. Alice should be able to come home by tomorrow."

I said my goodbyes, placing a kiss on Alice's cheek, and grabbed Bella by the hand as we left the room.

"Edward, are you ok?" Bella asked.

"No, Bella, I'm not. You being here means the world to me. You should know that," I turned to her and placed the lightest of kisses on her lips.

Again, I felt the anger roll off of her.

She would need that later, for what I planned to do.


	14. The Hero Dies in This One

**Ok guys, just a warning this is a violent chapter! **

**A few of you seemed interested to hear what happened to Alice, so I though I would tell it from her POV. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Leave Alice some love, she needs it!**

**I do not own Twilight**

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**APOV**

The red fabric surrounding me in this hideously small space was now torn and stained. My chest felt like it was on fire, the top of my dress ripped and exposing mots of my torso. How in the hell did I end up here?

Rose and I were so excited, we rarely got to dress so fancy. We had taken great care in picking out our dresses when Carlisle had told us we were going to the charity ball. We had to look good because he was set to receive a prestigious award.

Now, as we did our make up, the excitement had hit a fever pitch.

"Are you really going to do what Carlisle asked you to do?" Rose looked at me through the mirror we were sharing.

"Of course, what harm could it do? He just wants to make sure Edward's father stays away," I responded confidetly.

"Well, just don't do anything crazy Al. I love that color on you!" she said.

We held hands as we walked towards the cluster of Cullen males. They stopped their chatting to turn and stare at us, it was extremely gratifying. Jasper looked breath taking in his tux. His blond hair somewhat tamed, one curl hanging over his brow.

"Sweetheart," he began, "you look absolutely wonderful."

I blushed and smiled wide, Jasper always knew the exact right thing to say. Whether that had to do with his powers over emotions or not had never really meant a whole lot to me. I loved this man.

"You look rather handsome yourself," I purred into his ear.

Japser gave me one gentle kiss on the lips before Carlisle and Esme met our jovial group.

We entered the party, it was a fun affair. I danced with Jasper two or three times before it happened.

It was always like being punched in the gut, my visions. There is nothing better than being pulled out of a fancy ball to see a nightmarish vision as though you are there.

"Alice, Alice! Are you ok?" Jasper said urgently, his strong hands grasping my shoulders.

I had to leave and I had to do it now or I would be too late.

"Jasper, I left something important upstairs. I'll be right back," I said letting and unconvincing smile flit to my lips.

Before he could argue, I gathered up my red pleated skirt and jogged towards the exit. Thank goodness the family was otherwise preoccupied. If Edward's Mother stood a chance I couldn't be interrupted.

I fished some money out of my strapless bra, my emergency stash, and hailed a cab. The address was visible in my vision, I gave it to the driver and we were off. I watched the night time of Chicago fly by around me. Some of it beautiful, some of it not.

Would Edwad even want me to save her? It was to late to think about that now. When Carlisle asked me to watch for them with my gift, I never imagined I would see something like this. Even knowing how violent Edward's father was, this was not something I could have prepared for.

As we entered one of the seedier neighborhoods, I knew we were close. My palms began to sweat, maybe I should have brought Emmett with me. I heaved a sigh as we pulled up to the curb.

The house was in disrepair, but looked as though it could have been a lovely place in it's heyday. The door was a deep green and the lights were blazing in the windows. I got out of the cab, threw the money at the driver, and told him to keep the change.

The shouting was almost decipherable through the heavy front door. I don't know what Elizabeth did to make him angry, or if she's done anything, but I knew this was the fight that would end her life and I couldn't let that happen.

The door was unlocked and I opened it silently. Sliding into the house, I listened to see where they were. It sounded as though they were upstairs, so I headed to the area I thought the kitchen would be and my luck held. I grabbed a small, but very sharp, knife and concealed it.

Fearlessly, I headed up the stairs.

Creeping to the room they were in, I was shocked to find that they had kept Edward's room just as he'd left it. They were in it, his mother curled up on his bed crying, and, for just a second, my heart ached for her.

Edward's father reached back and hit her, hard, across the face. She didn't throw up her hands or anything to defend herself. I was absolutely appalled. I jumped into the room, startling him.

"Hey, asshole, why don't you pick on someone who will fight back?" I said, retrieving my knife.

The way he slowly turned towards me was unnerving. He let out a chuckle that grew deep in his belly and I shivered. I wasn't so sure I would make it out of here.

Trying to stay clear of him, I began to creep towards Elizabeth. His cold, emotionless eyes followed my progress. Maybe I had startled him in to submission, but I somehow didn't think so.

When I was close enough to see Elizabeth was breathing, clutching one of Edward's shirts, I let my guard down infinitesimally. It was enough for him to get the jump on me.

I wondered how shocked my face looked as he jumped onto me.

He was at least six feet tall and a strongly built man. His face was nearly a mirror image of Edward's, but, where Edward's eyes held love,happiness,acceptance, his held rage. It frightened me absolutely.

"I'll take that," he said breaking my wrist in his efforts to snatch the knife.

I didn't yell, I wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction.

I had unwittingly brought him a means to my own destruction.

The angry ripping sound my dress made as he cut it open with the knife, made my blood run cold. He licked his lips as he ran the dull side of the knife down my chest. I was just thankful he was cutting me.

You know that saying, don't count your chickens before they hatch? Yea, it fucking applies here.

He leaned down, with his Edward face, and ran his stubbled cheek along mine.

"Your one of those Cullen brats," he spoke, "I can see it in your head."

Well, that explained quite a bit, I filed that information away for later - if I survived this. I wondered if his ability had driven him to be this way, until I was brought out of my ruminations by the searing pain just under my collar bone.

My head was spinning, how could I make this stop? A moan came from me that I hardly recognized, as the pain and heat spread across my torso. I felt like I was on fire and his laugh, his cold laugh, made me feel cold at the same time.

"I told that boy I would break him!" he said triumphantly, "What better way than skinning the girl he considers his sister?"

It was then I registered the soft sound of someone shuffling towards us. I could only hope Edward's dad hadn't heard it in his blood lust.

Elizabeth was a slight woman, though she was tall. Her brown hair was wild and her eyes looked frenzied. She grabbed the lamb from the bedside table and smashed it over his back. The force of it made him drive the knife into the soft tissue of my side and I groaned.

"Woman, what do you think you're doing?" he growled, unfazed.

"You leave her alone Edward, you hear me?" she stood her ground.

The only reply he gave was a smack to her face and the spry of blood from a cut on her cheek. I tried to stand, to defend her, but the pain was too much. My already red dress was now black in spots. When I heard his heavy foot falls coming my direction I desperately tried to crawl away.

The heat from his hand made me cringe as he used the remainder of my dress top as a handle. He pulled me towards the corner and I scanned the area trying to figure out why. Then I saw it and the tears of rage stung my eyes.

The box. The box that haunted Edward. He was dragging me towards it.

My stomach started doing flips and I though I might vomit. The creaking of the door opening made hot tears slide down my face.

"No! No Please! No!" I begged.

He laughed as he pushed my into the box, slamming the door on my good hand before I could move it. I yelled in agony. Scrambling to move it, I was suddenly alone, bleeding in the dark confines of Edward's box.

I heard a crashing noise and sounds of struggle form the outside of the box. I had failed, I knew this would be the end of Elizabeth and I was fairly sure it would be the end of me too. I was in far too much pain to try to see my own future and I wasn't sure I wanted to know either.

"This is your fault, it always has been," Elizabeth's voice roared, "You couldn't handle hearing other people's thoughts and, when Edward started doing it, you couldn't handle that either. Then you became jealous of him. Jealous that he could control it and handle it where you couldn't. You beat him, tried to break him. You broke me. I can never forgive myself for letting you do what you did to Edward, but I will not let you do this to her!"

I heard more scuffling and the sound of the knife dropping to the floor with a metallic edge. Then, horrified, I heard a thud vibrate the box. I listened as Elizabeth struggled for air. As she died, I passed out.

When I came too, Jasper's beautiful face was hovering over me as he extracted me from the terrible box.

"Next time you decide to take on a maniac could you please bring me or Emmett with you? For the sake of my sanity, don't do this to me again girl," his lazy southern drawl couldn't mask the seriousness of his statement.

As he lifted me onto a stretcher, and I heard the loving voice of my own dear father, I drifted out of consciousness again.

When Edward arrived in Chicago I was relieved. I'd missed him and I was so outrageously happy to see him. Bella wasn't far behind him and I wondered how their relationship had shifted as she cast worried glances his way.

He only spoke to me a little before the pain medicine fogged my brain and dragged me back into sleep.

My last coherent thought was, "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid."


	15. You know I'm no good

**Ok, I know it's been a loooong time, but I now know where I am going with this. Next update very very soon!**

**I do NOT own Twilight, but Darkward would like you to think so and he would also LOVE some love.**

**EPOV**

Alice's thoughts rolled around in my mind like a bowling ball headed towards pins. It was so real to me, her gift and mine fitting together like puzzle pieces made our bond stronger. I could even _smell _her blood and it only intensified my rage.

Bella and I had left the hospital to go to the hotel, but I had no intentions of sleeping of washing up. I wanted to dump off the suitcase and discuss with Bella what my next course of action was. I would understand if she couldn't go with me, after all, it wasn't entirely legal.

Bella sat on the large bed in the main bedroom of our suite and watched me pace. Now and again I would run my left hand through my hair and my right hand rubbed the long scar absently. I was sure I looked absolutely fucking insane and maybe I was. Maybe he finally had broken what sanity I had clung to through the years.

I didn't know how to ask her to help me or why I thought she would, but as I looked at her, my angel, sitting on the bed her chocolate eyes staring into mine, I knew she would at least consider it.

"Bella, I'm about to ask you something and you can say no, but I'm doing it with or without you," I tried to calm the shake of anger in my voice as I spoke.

I watched curiously as Bella stood slowly, deliberately and walked to me. She placed her index finger over my mouth and shook her head. Her lovely brown hair swaying around her like the leaves of a willow tree in the breeze.

"I know what you're thinking Edward. You don't have to tell me and yes, I will help you if it brings you peace," she paused and seemed to be in deep thought, "You have to know though, I do not think this will be as satisfying as you think."

For a moment I considered what she said, would I be satisfied? Then the image of Alice broken in her hospital bed flickered into my thoughts and I didn't give a damn.

I wanted my revenge.

Now, here, in the pitch of dark only midnight could bring, we stood outside of the jail where my father was held. The excitement buzzed in the air around us like a million bees. I turned silently to Bella and nodded and then, with speed my eyes could not keep up with, she launched herself over the fence that surrounded the prison.

The plan was this; Bella would break silently into the prison, subdue my father and bring him back to the house he caused so much pain in. I thought it would only be fitting to end it there. It was like a poetic justice of sorts. I felt the thin smile on my lips as I climbed into Carlisle's car. For a moment, I wondered if they were worried about where I was at, but it was a short lived pang.

Chicago flew passed me as drove as fast as I could through the conveniently deserted streets. I knew these neighbors like I knew the scars on my body. I had grown up here, well, more like I had been fucking thrust into adulthood here, and I would finally bring an end to the deep fear that haunted me here. I was so convoluted as to think it would stop my flashbacks or heal my every emotional wound, but at least justice would be done.

As the house came into view, a small Chicago style bungalow, I slowed the care and parked six houses down. I didn't need to implicate Carlisle in this, so I had also cover his license plate with mud to make it hard to read. I had worn a black hoodie for the occasion and, as I stood up to leave the car behind, I pulled the hood around my face.

As I got closer, I could see the remnants of police tape scattered about the porch and in bits on the dark green front door. Looking to my left and my right, I quickly walked up to the porch. I let my hands trail along the brick railing, remembering better times. Times when this place still held love for me.

Quickly, I grabbed the key I knew would be hidden under the small pot on the porch. Hands shaking, I placed the key in the lock and turned it as though it was as fragile as glass. As I entered the house the sudden familiarity took my breath away. Everything down to the moonbeams filtering through my mother's green drapes twinkling on the pictures on the wall was exactly the same as when I left this place.

I stood at the foot of the unlit stairs, unable to move, and forced my breathing to be slow and calm. The memories of the violent last night in this house flooded my mind. Reminding myself why I was here, I defiantly sped up the stairs.

The door of my bedroom loomed before me. I thought I was prepare, but, as I opened the door, I realized how mistaken I had been. Even though they had since cleaned up the blood and gore, signs of a struggle were still evident. Bedclothes were scattered about the room. There were several broken lamps. Worst of all though, was the box mocking me from its corner.

Trembling ,I walked to the corner ignoring the broken pieces of glass as they crunched beneath my feet. The box was a rich brown wood, polished to a shine. The box was always taken care of, more so than even me. I noticed that the door was partially open so I leaned down and pushed it. Inside the wood was still stained with Alice's blood. A low growl escaped my lips as I ran my finger over the dry stain.

I remembered what it was like to bleed in that box. To lie in the unforgiving darkness willing yourself to stay alive. I wondered if Alice had thought those same things and, in that moment, I wanted this more than ever.

A sudden crash on the steps made me extremely alert. I hid in the corner behind the bed I never used and waited for some kind of alert that it was Bella. The door flung open and there stood Bella, her hair blown by the wind filled with errant leaves, with her small arms firmly around my struggling father. when his face, a mirror of my own, looked up at me. As he did he was suddenly still, a knowing look in his mean eyes.

"Put him there," I pointed to the chair I had placed in the middle of the room, "Make sure he cannot get up.

I watched as Bella forced my father into the chair and marveled at the size difference between them. Bella should have never been able to man handle him in such a way. As she removed her belt and bound his hands to the chair behind his back, I willed myself to channel his anger into me so I cuold accomplish this task.

Menacingly, he glared into my green eyes with his own.

"I have always known you would be the one to end this," he growled with the hatred of a man long since dead, "Just do it."

I walked over to him and slid a small knife out of my pocket as his eyes followed it. The knife was rusty and old, but it deserved to be picked for this job as it knew exactly how he had done it himself. Running the blade over his stubbled cheek, the sound it made reminding me of a straight razor over a beard, I saw Bella watching me with concern from the corner. Her mind was frenzied with fear for my sanity and rightly so.

Tonight, I was going to give myself over entirely to the insanity that this man had created in me .


	16. Anew

Hi everybody!!! I have started a blog h t t p : / / a m a n d a c u l l e n 8 4 . w o r d p r e s s . c o m / It will contain teasers to all my stories AND has a teaser for the next chapter of this story up on it RIGHT NOW!! Spread the word!!

I know updates have been slow coming, but such is the way with summer and having three kids. I've been super busy but I HAVE been working on it!

Thanks

Amanda


	17. Something She Said

**Ok, this one is kind of short, but it felt like a good stopping point :) I am hoping to update more and more as it gets colder out. Leave me love!! Darkward loves comments**

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My father's panting breath was audible behind me as I stood with my back to him. Every now and then a small grunt would escape him. I wondered if it was fear that made him utter those noises. I turned around and stared at him. The years of drinking hadn't erased the handsomeness he possessed. His green eyes were hollow no longer even full of hate.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my voice full of ice, "Why didn't you tell me you could do it too?"

Silence was my only answer. His own act of defiance. Suddenly, my own frustration became too much to bare. He couldn't even answer me about the one thing we shared. The thing that should have made us closer, but had utterly destroyed us. Before I knew I was doing it, I back handed him with the knife in my hand. The room was filled with the sound of it.

"Didn't think you had it in you son," he spoke as he wiped the blood from his mouth onto his jumpsuit.

"There are a lot of things that would surprise you about me," I sneered back.

"I was a child. A Fucking child. You couldn't have just loved me? It was all I wanted. You couldn't separate you own self hatred from your feelings for me?" I screamed as I leaned into his face.

As his hot spit hit my face, I knew that trying to talk to him was futile. He would never really care about me. All I was to him was a reminder of a gift he couldn't handle or control. He killed my mother and he killed any real chance of innocence I had ever had. I wiped my face and turned to him once again.

His mind was jumbled, full of self loathing and doubt. There was no love in its blackened depths. No remorse. I seethed with rage. Years of repressed emotion filled me until I thought I would explode. It was then, that I decided I would finish it. Right here right now. I pulled out the knife and held it to the soft flesh under his jaw and, as we stared defiantly at each other, I was knocked, hard, to the floor.

"What the fuck Bella?" I yelled getting up.

"Let me finish it. Don't let his blood be on your hands Edward, it's what he wants! Don't you feel it? This would be his final victory over you!" Bella flung her arms around as she yelled.

"No," I replied with finality.

"I didn't want to do this to you and I hope you find it in you to forgive me, but I just can't let you do this," Bella all but whispered.

In the next instant Bella was on me. I fought against her, trying to free myself from her iron grasp, but it was no use.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated .

A sharp pain shot through my head and flashed white in my vision and then, all was darkness.

* * *

I woke up, not knowing how much time had passed, on a private plane with Bella. Confused and with a headache from hell I looked around me to see if my family was with us. It was just us.

"Where's my family?" I asked, my voice hoarse from being unconscious.

"They took a separate plane Carlisle thought you might need some space after he saw the newspaper this morning," Bella looked down the entire time she spoke.

"What exactly are you talking about, Bella?" the anger in my voice surprised me.

She tossed a copy of the Tribune into my lap and he folded her arms and stared out the window. The headline read _Head of Prestigious Law Firm Kills Wife, Then Breaks Out of Jail and Kills Self. _There was a large picture of my father and my mother smiling alongside of a picture of our burnt out home. Ah, so that is how Bella had covered her tracks. I was angry Bella had taken this from me, but at the same time I was finally at ease. He could never harm me or anyone I loved again.

I needed some space from Bella. I needed to think over some things and I knew it would hurt her, but I couldn't help it. So many things had happened this weekend I felt like I was spiraling out of control. When the plane landed, I would make sure she got home and then I would separate myself from her as much as I could. I was careful to guard my thoughts from her and I think she noticed.

Maybe, in the end, he had won. Maybe his only goal was to see me as insecure as he was.

**BPOV**

For months he didn't talk to me.

Through Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's day. Now Spring Break was a week away. I would be in Italy for two weeks and still, he hadn't spoken to me. The only contact I had with the Cullens and been Em and Alice. They sat with me at lunch while Jasper and Rose sat with Edward. Today was no different.

"Sorry Bella, " Em said, "He won't talk to any of us. Rose and Jasper are so worried about him. We all are."

Emmett's eyes looked down at his food and he sighed as he pushed away his tray. He must be worried, nothing got in the way of Em's stomach. I glanced over at Edward as he glared at me. He was so pale, much more pale than he had been before. The bags under his eyes gave the illusion that he had been hit. He was wasting away and I felt like it was my fault.

"But I'm leaving for Italy next week. I thought he would have made up with me by now. I thought..." I couldn't finish.

I sighed.

"Oh Bella," Alice leaned towards me placing her tiny hand on mine, "It's not your fa......"

Suddenly Alice gasped and her eyes looked vacant. I didn't dare read her mind, it couldn't have been good. Em looked at her and then me, concern painted on his face. When Alice came back to herself Em wasted no time in asking her what she had seen.

"We need to call Carlisle, **now**," was her only answer.

They made their apologies and left, grabbing the other Cullens before they disappeared out the door I knew lead to the parking lot.

I spent the next few classes in a shocked and worried haze. They never ever kept me out of the loop. For them to do so must be a bad sign.

It took everything I had to not stand up and walk out of the building, leaving all of my belongings behind, straight to me truck and drive to the Cullens. I hadn't previously been aware that I held that kind of will power. The day wore on without any of the teachers reaching me. It was as if I was in a movie and the objects around me moved in a blur while I moved in slow motion.

When the last bell rang, I was at my locker shoving in everything I could fit. I ran to my car, carefully keeping at a human pace, and was grateful when the engine roared to life. Reaching for my cell phone, I put it in drive and took off towards the Cullen house. No new voicemails or texts, I felt strangely betrayed. If something huge was going on, and I was sure it was, I would have expected Alice to tell me.

My stomach was in knots as the trees of Washington created a green blur in my peripheral vision.


	18. Fever Dream

**Hiya everybody! I am going to try to update this one again today. After a long hiatus, Darkward returns, even darker and twistier! Cheer poor Darkward up and leave him love!**

BPOV

The familiar crunch of gravel did little to calm my nerves. Jerking to  
a halt, I flew out of the truck and flew toward the Cullen house with  
preternatural speed.

One of the curses of my vampiric nature was the frightening speed with  
which my mind could structure my every thought. I'd gone back and  
forth from Edward committing suicide to him leaving forever. My mind  
could calculate the infinite disastrous outcomes with unprecedented  
alacrity. It could make even the shortest distance last for days.

Briskly, I knocked on the front door, afraid of what I would find if I  
had just entered. Inside I could hear the lazy, determined cadence of  
Jasper's footsteps. My heart nearly stopped as he approached the door.

"Bella," he greeted me with his usual slow southern comfortable tone

He made no move to let me in.

"Jasper, what's going on with you guys?" I was barely able to control  
my volume as the panic creeped in.

"Bella, I can't tell you that. It is up to him to do it. I'm sorry,"  
he placed on of his large hands on my shoulder as he spoke.

"Then get him, damn it," I hissed.

Nodding, Jasper left me there, front door shut quietly behind him, to  
stew in my own discontent. I didn't need to read minds to know what  
Edward and Jasper were saying, thanks to my other enhanced senses.  
Silently, I blessed my parents.

"Don't you think she's suffered enough?" Jasper whispered with urgency.

Edward sighed, "Fine."

Edward's footsteps, which were usually light and graceful, held a  
sudden heaviness.

"Bella," my bronzed haired love spoke with a hoarse voice, "you can't  
be here. I can't deal with it. With the consequences."

His green eyes, hollow and glazed, looked over me instead of at me.

"What? Why? What in the hell is going on with you? I love you!" I  
yelled, having lost the battle against the frenzy.  
"Just leave," was his only reply as he turned around and shut the door  
in my face.

For about an hour I stood there, shocked, unable to move. At some  
point, the rain had begun to fall as though it was trying to encourage  
me to leave. My hair was soaked, hanging in straggly chunks matted to  
my forehead, my clothes were just as wet. It seemed only fitting to  
me.

When my phone rang, I nearly didn't bother to answer it.

"Hello, my daughter," Marcus' voice sang sweetly.

"Father," I whispered, barely audible.

Through the phone, I could hear Marcus shift in alarm.

"I was calling to tell upi I am greatly looking forward to your  
arrival. It has been so long since you have been to Volterra," he  
paused, waiting for my reply, but I had none, " Isabella, answer me,  
are you ok?"

Hanging up my phone, I walked to my truck and started it. Again, my  
actions were halted because I didn't know what to do. My phone rang  
again, this time it was Charlie.

"Bells, sweetie, Marcus just called me, said you didn't seem yourself.  
He wanted to know if you wanted to go to Volterra tonight instead of  
waiting. I'm ok with it, as long as you catch upon school work when  
you get back," Charlie paused.

"Fine," was the only word I could muster.

"Ok, then," he said, " I'll call him back and let him know.."

And that was that. If I was going to be exiled, I was going to do it  
as thoroughly as vampiricly possible.

EPOV

My life was in shambles.

From the moment Alice grabbed me by the arm and forced me to go visit  
Carlisle at his office, it had been fractured.

"What in the hell is going on Alice," I uttered the first words I had to her in months as she drove me, light speed, to Carlisle.

"Nothing, just trust me and shut up," she hissed.

I deserved the rudeness. Once we had returned from Chicago, I'd written them all off. I wasn't ready to deal with what I had been prepared to do there and how I had handled being denied that. I felt, vile, unworthy. I wallowed in it. All I had wanted to do for weeks was sleep. I barely ate. I was constantly sick.

When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself. The green eyes were framed by purple shadows. My skin had a sickly pallor. Even my hair took on a lifelessness. Alice had been worried for weeks and I could only think this must be some kind of intervention. I din't bother to read her mind, it required too much effort.

As we pulled into the hospital parking lot, Alice tuned to me and warned,"Wait here and, so help me Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, if you are not here when I return I will end you myself."

I listened and obeyed, simply because it was the path of least resistance.

The tone of her voice had set off a mild alarm, in my normal state it would have set off a five alarm fire type of warning. I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep as the sound of the rain pattering gently on the volvo eased my mind.


	19. In Hiding

**A long over due update! I am trying to update my stories on a more regular basis from now on. Let me know what you think!**

EPOV

The light knock on my window woke me, Carlisle's worried face stared back at me. His mind was a jumble of tests and medical terms. Opening the door, I decided to go along with whatever he wanted. I didn't have the will to fight.

"Get in the chair," Alice demanded.

The chair was black and sliver, Carlisle covered the seat with an umbrella to keep it dry. Like a piece of paper crumpled and toss aside, I fell into the chair. Weariness was my constant companion now. As we entered the hospital one of the nurses joined our little troupe, her scent wafted to me and it struck me like a fist. Strawberries. Fucking strawberries.

I missed her, there was no denying that. I was on the precipice of asking her to forgive me for all the silent abuse I had been dishing out. I was an idiot, she loved me and I loved her and I had let all my guilt and anger get in the way. At that moment I resolved to call her as soon as I got home.

"Ok, Edward, we are going to draw blood and then I am going to take a biopsy of bone from your sternum. It will hurt," Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder.

A biopsy of my bone? What in the hell. Finally their words were starting to break through my apathetic shield. This had to be serious. Fear started to bubble up in me and sting my eyes. As though it would keep my emotions from erupting, I reached out for Alice's hand. Startled, she looked down and me, her hand squeezing mine. There were no words of reassurance, just her tiny fingers holding impossibly tight to my hand.

The next few hours involved a body scan, the painful bone biopsy, and blood tests. As Carlisle ran through the hospital, obviously in a kind of subdued panic, I sat with Alice, in his office.

"Alice,"I spoke from my spot on the couch, "I'm so sorry for ignoring everyone. I just. It was so hard. So hard."

Alice sighed and turned to me her mouth set in a broad grin.

"Oh Edward, we were never mad at you! We've been so worried."

Bracing myself to late, I felt the full impact of Alice's hug. I was grateful to have her here with me, even if I wasn't sure what was going on. I wanted to know if Bella was mad, if I had done too much damage to that bridge to cross it, but I didn't have the nerve to ask.

It seemed like we sat on that couch for days, waiting. I felt like I was in a bad cartoon where I began to grow a beard in the time that passed. My heart began to thump loudly in my chest and my palms were damp. Once in a while Alice would lay her head on my shoulder and I would sigh from the touch.

Finally, Carlisle came in and sat down, the weariness of a man with a heavy burden was on his face.

"Edward, it's not good, son. It's not good."

**BPOV**

Airport Security wasn't a chore when your father could send a car to the tarmac to get you. The windows of the black luxury sedan were tinted, of course, to block all the light it could. I felt cold, cold to my core. Ice gripped my heart and I made no effort to break it free. As the car drove over the cobblestone streets of Volterra, I shut off my cell and let my head rest against the seats. It was good to be away from Forks.

"Hello, Isabella," Heidi greeted me inside the tower.

I ignored her, which was uncommon for me, but very everyday for the vampires who lived here. They all seemed so aloof, so sure they were superior to humans. Yet, here they were, needing to live off the blood of humans. It was hypocrisy at its finest.

As I walked through the doors to the more ancient part of the building, Felix held out a blood red, velvet robe and I slipped my arms into it. As the only daughter of any of the leaders of the vampire world, I was expected to dress and act a certain way. I easily complied with the dress code, but often struggled with obeying their commands on my behavior.

"Welcome home, Lady Isabella," the child -like voice of Jane, one of my father's many henchmen, greeted me.

"Good afternoon, Jane, "I replied.

It had been the most interaction I had had since leaving Forks. Jane's power of pain, though it didn't work on me, intimidated me and so I tried to be cordial to her. As was our custom, she showed me to the main chamber.

Unlike the rest of the building, it was well lit through a giant, round skylight. Any human who made it this far was likely dinner, so there was no need to hide the sparkling effects of the sun here. Sitting upon their thrones were Aro, Caius, and, my father, Marcus.

Rising, Marcus came towards me, seeming to float across the floor. Catching me up in his outstretched arms, he gave me a fierce hug.

"It's been far too long, my daughter. You seem troubled," he spoke, holding me at arms length.

"I'm fine. I am very happy to see you as well," a genuine smile spread across my face as I hugged my father again.

Right behind him, Aro stood, patiently waiting to be acknowledged. His long, black hair shinning in the light.

"Lord Aro," I said stretching out my hand.

Aro's particular power was very strong, but only if he could touch you. I was a constant source of frustration for him as he could ever read me completely, only very strong thoughts and emotions. Still, he enjoyed a challenge and, as the closest thing to an uncle I had, I liked to oblige him. His skin was smooth and cold, even more so due to my unnaturally warm skin. cradling my hand in both of his, he shut his eyes.

"Fascinating. You never cease to amaze me, my dear," he spoke as he sifted through what he could.

Towards the end of our encounter, his brows came together in what looked like pain. I knew he had reached the pain left by Edward. Sighing, he released my hand.

"I shall never understand your fascination with them," he gently patted my shoulder.

"Being that you are no longer human, my lord, I would not expect you to."

For the first few days I just wondered Volterra, enveloped in my thoughts of home, of him. I became as close to being lost as I could in a city I knew inside and out. More than a few times, I was seen wandering the city weeping. It was a bit dramatic, I would admit that, but I was purging sadness and that was how it came out.

One evening, as I headed out in my cloak, Marcus came up to my side.

"I know you're upset, I know it's because of a boy. Is he human?"

I should have known Aro would tell him. After all, we were, however dysfunctional, a family. Still, an anger began to creep up in me. I trust Aro when we played his game, trusted him to not share every detail he gleaned with Marcus. My Father should ask me for information about my life.

"Yes," I replied, shamefully looking down.

We both knew how human-vampire relationships ended. Neither of us wanted to endure it again.

"Oh, sweet daughter, I'm sorry."

We walked through the city in silence, a rare thing for Marcus who never left the tower. His presence gave me the strength to try to move beyond Edward. If he wouldn't have me, I'd move on.


End file.
